Whispers of a Distant Star
by IrrevocableVision
Summary: AU- Against her wishes, Relena is forced to marry Heero Yuy, a man she hardly knows, all for the safety of the world. Things grow more difficult with war between the colonies and earth as everything in Relena's life breaks, including her marriage.
1. Empty Vows

Author¡¯s Notes: Erm, yes, well, I had actually planned this story ages ago but I decided I want to write this story very slowly and take my time with it. I have absolutely no clue where I want to take this story, whoever I do know the ending for it. I just gotta somehow think of what¡¯s going to go in between. Lol, anywho, here¡¯s the beginning. I apologize if anything is wrong, I¡¯ve only watched a few episodes of Gundam Wing.

Whispers of a Distant Star

Prologue: Empty Vows

~ The cruelest lie is often told in silence-Robert Louis Stevenson

She stepped lightly onto the carpeted floor, heeled shoes moving forth in a motion of dread. The cathedral was one of the most beautiful places in the city, perfect for an event that could save the world from chaos. Scented orchids and lilies bedecked the benches while the stained glass windows shone in playful colors of light. The serenity of the room felt like a piece of heaven and she leisurely lifted her head to feel the warmth of the sun. Yet, it couldn¡¯t penetrate the deeper recesses within and she dropped her head low in disappointment and surrender.

It was so quiet inside her mind, quiet enough that she could hear the swish of her satin skirt and the frantic pounding of her erratic heart. It wasn¡¯t supposed to be like this. Of all the paths she had thought she would take in life, she had never considered the one she was taking right now. And now here she was, slowly walking down the aisle to hold back time if just for a few more seconds. But a few seconds to do what? Run away? She couldn¡¯t run away even if she tried. Guards were posted at every entrance to not only protect her but to keep her from fleeing what was already legalized on paper.

One step after another, she was reaching closer to her destiny and as she neared the priest, she felt a teardrop cascade from her carefully made up eyes and catch on to her fragile veil. In the midst of her lingering walk she felt her hand being squeezed. She raised her eyes enough to see her brother looking apologetically down at her. His eyes spoke a million words but regret was etched in every one and she could feel the threat of another tear pushing close. She squeezed his hand back and they once again slowly proceeded up the aisle. 

The dread grew heavier as she finally reached the destination she had been trying to slow down. The warmth of her brother¡¯s hand disappeared as he gave her up to another. An ice cold hand took hers and a quiet voice began to drone on about love, devotion, and happiness. She couldn¡¯t concentrate on anything but the icy hand that held hers like it was an inanimate object. The droning voice changed but her mind still couldn¡¯t quite comprehend the words that were being said. Then all knowledge came back as she caught on to the last remnants.

¡°For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do we part. This is my solemn vow.¡±

Until death do we part. She couldn¡¯t wait that long for the promise to break. Her breath hitched as she realized that they were all waiting for her to say her part. She took a deep breath and readied herself for her fate.

¡°I, Relena Peacecraft, take you, Heero Yuy, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do we part,¡± she paused, her chest slightly trembling from her anguish. Could she finish? Her will took over and thrust all emotion and thoughts down. ¡°This is my solemn vow.¡±

Two hands came into vision as they held the ends of her veil and lifted it over her head in a robotic motion. Her eyes locked on to the ground, refusing to look at her newly made husband. The icy hand caught her chin and jerked it up. She didn¡¯t have time to resist as his warm lips descended onto hers and stole her first kiss. 

This wasn¡¯t supposed to be her fate, her future. It wasn¡¯t supposed to be like this. She wanted to scream it out to the world. She was never meant to do this. 

He grabbed her hand again and nearly pulled her down the aisle while the cathedral stayed silent, deprived of any sounds of joy or contentment. When they reached the room outside he released her hand and walked away, leaving her where she stood. She let the sadness flow over her and felt her soul rising to eternity, knowing that the endless sorrow would always embrace her heart.

*So? What did you think? It¡¯s a super short prologue but I just wanted to put a sort of beginning to this story. Please review and tell me what you think, and if you can, be gentle, this is my first Gundam Wing story. (I love long reviews, hint hint ^____^) oh, and I¡¯m pretty sure this chapter looks sort of weird, I really don¡¯t know whats going on with it. I save it as a webpage so that all the formatting stays the same but when I upload through fanfiction.net, it comes out different. Does anybody knows a better way to preserve all the formatting done to a chapter???


	2. Loving Matrimony

Author's Notes: I'm going to try to go along with the characters' personalities as much as possible. Such as Relena's personality, at the beginning of the anime, I noticed that though she is pretty mature, she still can be teenagerish in some ways, so in my beginning chapters, she won't be quite so grown up and adult like. Another thing I noticed is that she likes touching windows and looking out of them.....weird huh? Anywho, I'm still trying to figure out how to upload my chapters as a web page and not have the funny symbols come out, so if this chapter looks weird, a big sorry. I'll try to make the chapters longer as the story goes along.  
  
Whispers of a Distant Star Chapter 1: Loving Matrimony  
  
~I can't be sad for the rest of my life, let's try to be stronger-Relena Peacecraft  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
My fingers grazed the spotless window; it's clear features showing another pristine day. It was my daily ritual, to peer out of this piece of glass every morning and contemplate on how I was going to get through the day. My eyes are caught by the sparkle on my left ring finger and I raise my hands to stare, not admire, the band of silver with a sapphire being hugged by two clear diamonds. And I can feel the emptiness convulse inside. It eats me up sometimes. I can feel it gnawing at my heart, struggling to work its way into my core. I never wanted to get married. And to marry a speechless stranger did nothing to improve the already pitiful conditions of my life. I wanted love, I got indifference. I wanted peace, I got an arranged marriage. I wanted happiness, I got a tear soaked pillow. You would think that after years of being a foreign ambassador, that I would eventually learn that it wasn't my wants that would be achieved, but others. Yet, stupidly, I want to keep believing that one day I'll be able to receive at least one of my desires. Stupid, yeah, that's me. Stupid for signing my name on the marriage papers, thus becoming not only the youngest ambassador but the youngest married ambassador. And father wasn't even able to come to the wedding. In the reflection from the glass, I'm caught up with the memories of being tossed in the air as a young girl while my father's laugh tugged giggles out of me.  
  
I was a little girl once, not too long ago. I had the same dreams too, as normal girls. I wanted to marry, have kids, a white picket fence, the whole nine yards. But above all, I wanted my prince on a white horse. The one I could lean on for support instead of stuffing all failures and sadness inside me, letting it consume me from inside to out. He would be not only my pillar of strength but also a giver of unconditional love. I would never have to fear loneliness or sorrow because he would always be there, grasping my hand in a tight hold. They are past wishes but I still can't forget the beauty of the possibilities that could have been.  
  
After heaving a quiet sigh, I rebuild the mental walls in my face and prepared to greet another day of loving matrimony. My bedroom is two doors down from his, and yes, we do sleep in separate rooms. I don't even want to think of consummating the marriage, though I'm sure he would never stoop low enough to commit such an act. Especially with a woman he has not even traded more than a sentence to. It had already been a month since the ceremony. There was no wedding reception, no honeymoon. A limo took us straight to the house and so we have passed these past few weeks, a politeness that blanketed everything in a stuffy atmosphere. The only thing I could remember from my wedding day was the beauty of that church, the enormous windows that shone in comforting warmth, and the stark fear of inevitability.  
  
He was in the kitchen, carefully reading a book from our library with a cup of coffee in mid air. He had gracefully reclined in the stiff backed chairs we had, his eyes gravely concentrating on whatever he was reading. He didn't even look up when I walked in and I tried to keep my glance away from his still form.  
  
"Good morning." I said cheerfully, forcing myself to smile. I thought of all the paperwork I had to do for work and my smile faltered. "How was your sleep?"  
  
It was the same questions I had asked the day before that, and the day before that. And I silently listened for the answer I had grown accustomed to hearing.  
  
"Hn."  
  
Well, that's great, I'm glad to hear you're doing so well, I thought snidely. I mentally smacked myself in the head as I sat down. What a way to go about in a marriage. For a few minutes we both sat, him reading and me blankly staring at the wide window letting in streams of warm sunlight. The cream colored curtains had been pulled back by Pagen earlier so that the dining room positively glowed with light. A friendly breeze brought in the pine scent of the trees surrounding the house.  
  
"Will you be leaving for work soon?" I asked out of a habit of sheer politeness. Yet, the question sounded stupid even to my own ears. Sometimes, this insufferable man was no better than the aged conservative men I had meetings with. The least he could do was somehow attempt to say something more meaningful than a hn.  
  
"Hn."  
  
I fought down a rising sigh and picked up my briefcase to get ready to leave. Why did I keep doing this every morning? I come down, ask a few questions, hope for an answer, and received nothing but that monotonous hn that ravaged my cultivated patience. This time a sigh did come out and I pursed my lips.  
  
"I'll see you tonight then.....goodbye."  
  
My fingers gripped tightly gripped the suitcase while I pushed away the temptation to fling my marriage ring at his head. Heero Yuy, why did it have to be you?  
  
"Why did it have to be him?" I thought aloud as the limo sped along a highway to my office.  
  
"Marriage still not going good kiddo?" Duo Maxwell asked from his seat up front. He turned his body slightly around so that he could look at me. His long chestnut brown hair was braided as usual and was draped over his shoulder. His face betrayed nothing but an impassive face waiting to hear the aftermath. I tried to give a brave grin but his lips tipped down into a frown.  
  
"Maybe I should slip some kind of drug into his drink...." He said thoughtfully, his violet eyes twinkled mischievously and I could no more think of Heero Yuy drugged than him actually smiling voluntarily.  
  
"Very funny Duo." I said dryly. "I doubt that would work." Though, perhaps if there was a drug that could make Heero a little friendly...  
  
"I wish I could say sorry, but I know that's not going to do anything." He admitted honestly and I had to give a smile for his effort.  
  
"Me too."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The house was dark when the limo driver opened my door. Duo was already outside, his ears attentively listening for anything deceptively out of place.  
  
"Is he even home?" He pointed to the dark house with a thumb. I shook my head as I unbuttoned my silk jacket.  
  
"No, he's home alright, he's probably locked himself away in either his bedroom or the library." I said bitterly and bit my lip at my tone. "Sorry."  
  
"Nothing to be sorry about babe, I'll see you in, in case some extreme terrorist managed to get into the house." Duo said sunnily. "And maybe I want to say hi to your infamous husband."  
  
The door smoothly opened and the entrance light turned on as its sensors detected our presence. I didn't bother to call out a 'I'm home' knowing that nobody but the quietness would greet me back. After carelessly dropping my briefcase, I led Duo to the kitchen where a hot pot of coffee was always ready. We were sitting down when Duo looked at me across the delicate glass table with a knowing look in his good-humored eyes. He flung his chestnut braid behind his back and took up his coffee.  
  
"W-what?" I asked.  
  
"You're not happy." He said plainly and took a cautious sip of his hot drink.  
  
"I thought you already knew that." I pointed out.  
  
"No, you were unhappy before, but you're unhappier now. What's really bugging you babe?" He looked at me fumbling with my fingers.  
  
"Don't worry about it, it's nothing I can't handle. Besides," I looked up at him and constructed my best innocent face. "If I can tackle a conference room of angry diplomats, I think I can handle an irrelevant problem such as this." To top this beautiful lie, I added in my dazzling smile, one I reserved for the most troublesome predicaments.  
  
"I'm counting to three." I gulped as he slowly ticked off the numbers in his head. He had never failed to use this technique on me in the past six years he had protected me and fear clutched my stomach.  
  
"Come on Duo, let's be reasonable. We're grown and mature adults here, I'm sure we can find a more suitable..er...more suitable method than that." I said in my most soothing voice while putting up my hands. He stood up and reached over the small table with his long torso, fingers reaching out toward me. Oh god, he was going to tickle me. I closed my eyes and gave a squeak when suddenly something whooshed past me, creating a large crash. My eyes flew open to see Duo put in a tight headlock by...Heero?  
  
"What the hell are you doing in my house?" He said calmly but a threat was issued in his tone.  
  
"What are you doing?!!" I yelled as I rushed over to pry Heero's strong fingers from Duo's purple face. "He's my friend!!" Heero let go and Duo sucked in oxygen and coughed it back up. He was muttering something but I couldn't hear him and I moved my ear closer.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I said, I was only listening to her talk her heart out." Duo coughed out as his face returned to its normal hue. I sat back on my heels in relief.  
  
"I was not." I defended and shot a warning glare at Duo. He only shrugged his shoulders and rubbed his neck.  
  
"Who says I can't predict the future?" Duo looked up at my husband who was nonchalantly looking at him with the same expression on his face. "So you must be Heero...you know, I swear we've met before."  
  
"Hn. What are you doing here?" His subtle voice crept out.  
  
"Damn, don't you know anything about Relena? I've been her bodyguard since she was in elementary school." Duo stood up and straightened his disheveled clothes. "You know, I think I might remember where I've seen you now, were you a part of that proj-"Heero's hand latched onto Duo's shirt.  
  
"We have a civilian within hearing distance." He hissed into Duo's surprised face.  
  
"I'm not a civilian and don't treat me like some child." I remarked indignantly. He only gave me an impatient look and I could feel steam coming out of my ears. I was 17, not 4! And what secrets was he keeping from me???  
  
"If you don't want me around, why not try asking me to leave." I retorted and walked away in stiff and angry movements. Divorce had never sounded more tempting. If I wasn't some inanimate object in the house to be ignored, I was a naughty child that wasn't allowed to speak in front of her elders. Once I reached my suite of rooms, I gently closed the doors and furiously threw my jacket at the bed. It hit the handcrafted headboard with a muffled thunk. I could only envision Heero's face jeering down on me with contempt. If he didn't love me, why did he even marry me? I threw myself at the bed and laid on my back, blankly looking up at the peach wallpaper. Duo was right, I was unhappy. Deep down, I knew that by marrying Heero and creating a strong alliance with the colonies would benefit what my father was trying to pursue, a peace between earth and the colonies.  
  
Heero Yuy. The only thing I knew about him was that the colonies had opted for him to be the one to secure the friendship with earth. Even my brother hadn't told me Heero's history, only informing him that he was "honorable", whatever he meant by that. One marriage for the benefit for billions. What was one person's unhappiness compared to the despair of the billions in space and earth? I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes to stop the tears coming forth. A sniffle escape and I reined my sadness with iron will till all feeling of crying went away. I won't give up, maybe, if I keep trying, we could at least be friends instead of strangers. I wouldn't be able to live at all if the rest of my years were going to be like this every single day.  
  
Suddenly, my arms and legs felt weak and I slowly reached over to pick up my jacket, which had fallen to the ground.  
  
"It's all for you father, all for you." I muttered out loud and popped my uncomfortable heels off. "Ambassador at 16, married at 17, how did my life ever get like this?"  
  
Wonderful, Heero has pushed me so far that I'm talking to myself. I was that starved for human interaction. My fingers twitched to throw something else but I took a deep breath and blamed my tenseness to exhaustion. The phone rang and I gave a groan as my feet dutifully took me to the ringing machine.  
  
"It better not be the office." I said out loud again. "Hello, Peacecraft residence."  
  
"It's your father." A voice rushed and terrified, it was father's secretary.  
  
"My father? Is something wrong?" I said, my heart stopped beating and my temperature dropped as I could feel my face pale at the words. "Where?" I breathed out in complete fear,  
  
"The Alliance main headquarters' building."  
  
"I'll be there in a few minutes." I hung up the phone before the man could answer back and sprinted down the stairs, three at a time.  
  
"Duo!!! Pagen, the car!"  
  
Duo stuck his head out of the kitchen doorway and was at my side the second he saw my stricken face.  
  
"What happened?" He asked as we both hurried outside to wait for the limo.  
  
"My father, something happened. His secretary called and-and-I know something bad happened to him, I can feel it." The limo arrived and I flung myself into the car, telling the driver to step on it. The other door opened as well and to my surprise, Heero sat down in the seat next to me, his body warily distanced from mine.  
  
"Calm down and take a breather. We'll see what the situation is when we get there." Duo placed his hands on my shoulders as I tried to stop my hyperventilated breathing. Heero grabbed a small laptop behind the seat and began to furiously type on it.  
  
"A bomb." He said shortly after. "In a meeting room your father was in."  
  
I could feel my blood freeze and a thousand scenarios ran through my head. Images of my father trapped beneath debris, my father blown to a million pieces, my father suffocated to death from the smoke, my father....dead. The silence in the car was so deafening that I could feel my ragged heartbeat everywhere. I had known in my early years that this day would come. That one day my father would be assassinated because of his pacifist ideals. I knew it when I was 13, hell, I knew it when I was 10. I was hoping so hard right now that it wouldn't be true but every time I tried to hope, all I could see was rivulets of blood running down my father's crushed face. The car abruptly stopped and I lifted my head up to see the Alliance building, thick clouds of smoke pouring out of several broken windows. There were already dozens of fire trucks and ambulances on the scene. I could only walk like a zombie to the nearest person on site. When they all finally recognized me, many stopped in their tracks to give me looks of pity and sympathy. One woman burst into tears and quickly turned her back, hurriedly going back to whatever she was doing. I dug the nails of my manicured hands into my palm till I could feel trickles of blood run down my skin.  
  
"What happened?" I asked, astonishing the man and myself with my calm demeanor.  
  
"No survivors." He whispered in a fearful voice and added no more information. I felt his gaze on my face and he turned away just like the woman had done. The smoke grew thicker and I breathed deeply of the harsh scent, feeling the bitterness work itself all the way down to my throat. A warm hand grabbed mine and I knew it was Duo's but I flung his hand away. I would break if someone else touched me, and all resolve would shatter. There was a screech of tires behind me and I didn't even have to turn around to know that the press was already here. Duo cursed and moved to urge me back to the limo but was careful to give me my space. His fingers brushed the sleeve of my collared shirt and that one invisible contact dropped me to my knees, hands already trying to hide the torrents of grief that released. Someone ran up to me and stuck something sharp stuck into my arm. I gladly welcomed the darkness of the drug but the last thing I remembered was unfamiliar arms softly gathering me up into a comforting cradle.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
My eyes were so swollen that I had difficulty opening my eyes. I felt like I had been crying for hours non-stop, and I probably had, judging from the wetness on my pillow. My hand had been bandaged and I made a fist to feel the cuts I gave to myself.  
  
"Finally awake princess?" Duo said optimistically, trying to cheer me up.  
  
"How long has it been?" My voice croaked out as I pushed my covers away to sit up. I was in my favorite nightgown, one my father had bought for me in Paris. I tugged at the smooth white satin bow near the bottom. Who had dressed me?  
  
"Two days." Heero said quietly from the corner of my room. I whirled my head, mouth slightly open in shock at the sight of him actually standing in my room. He usually avoided my room like the black plague. "Your father's funeral was yesterday."  
  
I blinked back fresh tears, too drained to let out another drop. I settled for looking down at my lap and tightly shutting my eyes.  
  
"D-did the press-"  
  
"No, the funeral was private." He answered back.  
  
"I want to visit his grave." I said resolutely, already struggling to get up. I felt a short bout of dizziness but walked step by step to my bathroom. "Please leave my room while I get dressed."  
  
Duo opened his mouth to argue but stopped himself in time when he saw my determination. I didn't even turn around to see if they had truly left.  
  
An hour later, I was in the limo with Duo, Heero, and two other strange men. I didn't question their appearance and throughout the ride, I desperately fought back the tears that kept struggling to spill over. I had to be strong. I knew this would happen one day and crying would do nothing.  
  
My father's grave was buried in a small plot of the Peacecraft family, the dark brown earth still fresh from the recent burial. The four men positioned themselves in a fan around me as I perplexedly stared at the beautifully carved marble tombstone. There was a simple rose wreath that I knew was from my brother and a small bouquet of lilies from my mother. My hands were empty and I vaguely remembered that people brought flowers to graves. I opened my mouth to speak but found my throat so dry that only a rasping sound came out. I swallowed and tried again.  
  
"Could you leave me alone, please?" I asked faintly. I could feel the hesitation but all four moved far enough away so that I could talk without being heard. I knelt on the packed earth and ran my fingers over the chiseled writing beneath his name: The question is not whether how we will die, but how we will live. It was perfect for my father, and knowing him, he had probably picked his gravestone himself.  
  
"Did you know? Were you prepared to give your life for ideals?" I finally asked, sounding miserable even to my own ears. "Who's going to keep the peace now, father? Was the marriage for nothing? Who's going to make your dreams come true if you're dead?" A tear dropped from my eye and I made no move to brush it away as another rapidly followed. "How am I going to be happy now if you're not around to see it?" I leaned my forehead against the tombstone and allowed one of my tears to fall on the cold stone. I kissed the tombstone as if I was kissing my father's forehead and sat back. A cool sea breeze caressed my golden hair and I looked past the grave to see the blue ocean stretching miles ahead. The pang of heartache began to ease away as the ebb and flow of the tide distracted me. I continued to stare beyond the sea and at the far off horizon and wondered what was to be done now. I still wanted to cry, but now was not the time to do so. If my father saw me now, he would tweak my nose and tell me to be stronger. I grinned as a strong image of him beaming down on me came to mind. He had left unfinished work behind, and somehow, I knew that I would have to be the one to finish it. Not my brother, not the other members of the Alliance, not anybody else. I had to finish it all because I knew that's what he would have wanted.  
  
I swiped at my eyes and rubbed the tiredness out of them. With one last lingering touch on his grave, I stood up, feeling infinitely stronger and turned around to flash a smile at the four men. The sorrow from my father's death would take time to heal and soothe away, but at least I had my memories. And it will have to be that with my memories, I will take up the incomplete task of bringing peace to earth and space. My own matrimonial unhappiness and grief will have to wait.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
puppetmonkey5562: thanks for the compliment, I hope you liked this chapter too!  
  
The Black Rose: wow, thanks for reading my story. Have I mentioned that I love your story Missing by a mile? Sigh, now that is a excellent piece of writing. I hope you'll manage to stay interested in this story. It might be kind of angsty, but then again, I'm not sure where this story will go, I do have an idea of what the ending will be. 


	3. Changing Adversity

Author's Notes: some people have asked if there is any duo/relena action, nope, none at all, I'm making duo kind of like a older brother type since he's been guarding her ever since she was young. However, I am wondering if I should throw in some trowa/relena just to spice up the hero/relena coupling.  
  
Whispers of a Distant Star Chapter 2: Changing Adversity  
  
~For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul- Judy Garland  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I drummed my fingers on the heavy cherry wood desk and leaned back against my chair, closing my eyes for a solution. I wanted to find a way out of this but I couldn't consider any other way. Every idea that I had come up with was not a path I was willing to take. And as every plan was rejected, I found myself growing closer to the only way out. I had been thinking and thinking for hours and already the sky is breaking apart to reveal a new day. Exhaustion is seeping through my every limb and yet I know I cannot leave this room till I have come to a decision.  
  
"Are you alright, Miss Relena?" Quatre asked and I opened my eyes to smile gratefully at his genuine concern. Somehow, within the last three days, I had acquired more bodyguards for my safety. Apparently, my father's associates thought it dangerous for me to be left unguarded after the assassination. And it so I have become acquainted with Quatre Raberba Winner, an Arabian blonde with an easygoing attitude, and the ever quiet and calm Trowa Barton who seems to hide a secret within himself.  
  
"Still thinking. And it appears I'm not getting anywhere." I admitted. "I'm sorry for keeping you awake for so long."  
  
"No problem babe, it's our job." Duo commented from the window seat in my office. He had been peering out of the large window in contemplation, looking at the spanning sea outside as if there was a significant meaning in it.  
  
"Have you come to your decision?" Trowa asked quietly from his post near the door.  
  
"There appears to be only one, I just don't know if I'm fully qualified for it." I said thoughtfully and rubbed my eyes in tiredness. "But I'll have to take my chances and trust in the future."  
  
"What will Heero think about it?" Quatre asked and my face froze for a second at the sound of the name, then relaxed.  
  
"I don't know why he would care. He never took any interest in my affairs in politics before." I said carefully as I stood up and smoothed the wrinkles in my pleated white skirt. I had gotten at least enough time to change after we visited father's grave. That was two days ago and I hadn't home during since then.  
  
"I-well, it's just that if you do become the vice foreign minister, you won't be home that often." Quatre said honestly and I wanted to giggle at his ignorance. Unlike the perceptive Trowa, Quatre had not yet caught on to my supposed nuptial "bliss".  
  
"I'm sure he will be fine with it. My job won't make a difference in our relationship." Amen to that. There was too much truth behind those words and I saw Duo smirk as he caught on. "I guess I'll go tell Milliardo about my decision."  
  
I felt reluctant as Trowa opened the door for me. It wasn't as if I had a choice in taking my father's place or not, it had been a Peacecraft position for as long as I could remember. And Milliardo always thought he was too stained to take the job. I had hopelessly spent all those hours thinking of someone else to preserve the peace but at the same time, I was aware that nobody would be able to truly fulfill my father's intentions. I was just afraid of the people's disappointment. I knocked on my brother's door and stepped inside. He was standing with his back facing me and looking out from his view of the flourishing kingdom. He had inherited the fair white blonde from my father while I took after my darker haired mother. Yet, many have said that the determination in both our eyes were one and the same.  
  
"I've agreed." I said and there was relief in my brother's posture. "But no ceremonies and such, I just want to start working right away."  
  
"No can do Relena," He turned around to face me with serious eyes. "Do you know how many people have relied on our family for peace? Father's death had an immense impact on the public and an opening ceremony and ball will relieve their fears. They want to be reassured that there will still be someone fighting for piece between earth and the colonies." Milliardo explained quietly.  
  
"Then a compromise, a ball, but no ceremony." I said diplomatically.  
  
"Deal." He walked over and suddenly gave me a hug, an act he rarely indulged in. "I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear. "First the marriage, and now this. But your marriage has considerable meaning, keep believing in that. There was a reason for it." He released me and walked back to his stance facing the window.  
  
"A ball huh? Sounds better than a ceremony." Duo said as we walked back to my office. "I think that's the first time I've ever seen Milliardo Peacecraft hug somebody. It makes him seem more human."  
  
I lightly punched Duo in the shoulder in which he immediately held his arm in mock pain. "Stop that, Milliardo is as human as you and I. And it looks like I have a lot of work to do today."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A lot doesn't cover how much paperwork I had to go over, the number of meetings I attended, the people I met, or the phone calls I received. My eyes were literally drooping as I skimmed a letter from some duke in Italy that wished to have dinner with me. With a yawn, I refolded the letter and neatly slipped it into my briefcase to answer tomorrow. Duo patted my shoulder and hoisted me up. I swayed from side to side as I made a grab at my briefcase but Quatre quickly snatched it from me.  
  
"Come on kiddo, time to take you home." Duo said as he led me to the door. Trowa favored the bold initiative and scooped me into a cradle.  
  
"Hey, I'm not that tired." I argued weakly as the yawns followed each other in close intervals.  
  
"You have been on your feet for over 48 hours. For a normal human being, it exceeds their ability to maintain enough energy for regular routine." He said. "And you aren't walking in a straight line."  
  
I was too far gone to argue and just nestled my head against the softness of his navy turtleneck. I briefly remembered being held like this some time ago but I couldn't put my finger on when, where, or even who.  
  
"I'm not a baby." I concluded. Someone chuckled and it might have been Quatre but I drifted off into an uneasy sleep. They woke me up when the limo arrived at the front of my house and I waved off any moves of assistance. There was no way they were going to tuck me into bed. But to my alarm, they followed me to the house.  
  
"What in the world are you doing?" I said as I struggled to open the door.  
  
"We're suppose to guard you day and night from now on. Pagen already told us he had rooms ready for us and that if you had any objections, to bring it to him." Duo said as he clapped a hand on my back before walking inside. "Slumber party!"  
  
I was too tired to argue and I knew Pagen always had a firm hand when it came to my safety. I only muttered that they better not be sleeping my room as I wearily climbed the stairs. I really hope the next few days won't be like my three day stint of constant work. I was putting a hand on my door handle when I saw that the door to the library was ajar and there was bright light peeking through. I poked my head in and saw Heero's unruly brown hair poking out from behind the computer. He slowly turned his head up to meet my eyes and I gave a light nod as a greeting.  
  
"Sorry. I just wanted to say good night." I mumbled. "Sleep well."  
  
He gave no answer and only went back to the screen. A tear prickled my eyes as I turned away and walked to my room. Funny how the marriage is already failing after Milliardo told me that it was important. And I still have no idea why the fact that Heero and I weren't even friends was affecting me so much. It shouldn't matter at all and I shouldn't be feeling down every time he ignores me, especially since the marriage is meaningless except on paper. Maybe it was desperation for love. Since I had a husband, I would never be able to set eyes on another man. My whole life would be dedicated to one man and to stray off the path would mean I was unfaithful. All the love I had inside was forced to be reserved for Heero, and he had no intent of taking it.  
  
I slipped off my long coat and threw it over a chair, then climbed into bed without even changing into my nightclothes. I wanted to sleep so badly but the persistence of Heero prevented me. Why did I care so much? I furiously kicked off my covers and slipped on a robe before heading down to the kitchen. There was a soft step behind me and I turned around to see Trowa who was following me down.  
  
"Why aren't you sleeping?" I asked him as I switched the kitchen lights on.  
  
"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" He said as he opened the refrigerator for milk. I set out a teakettle and turned on the gas flame. I leaned against the marble counter as we waited for the milk to heat up.  
  
"Couldn't sleep. And I don't need a bodyguard 24/7. You guys are going to get exhausted if you keep up with the hours I have." I said as he poured the milk into two cups. He handed me a cup and took a sip from his own.  
  
"It's our job to protect the peace." He looked at the baby penguin painted on his cup. "Cute cup."  
  
"Wedding gift." I flushed. And in a comfortable silence, we drank the warm milk. But to my dismay, instead of feeling sleepy, I felt more awake when I finished. "The milk's not working." I said, thwarted. "And Pagen doesn't like keeping sleeping pills in the house." I thoughtfully tapped my empty cup with my fingers. "Maybe I'll do some more paperwork, that usually puts me to sleep. And you should go to sleep too, I'm quite sure nobody will attack me in the middle of my paperwork."  
  
Trowa leaned over and lightly ran his hand over my eyes so that only my eyelashes brushed against his skin. "Don't think when you try to sleep, it often distracts the mind from rest." He placed his cup in the sink and went upstairs. I blinked a few times then shook my head. Trowa would always be an enigma to me. I grabbed my briefcase that I dropped near the stairway and laid it on the dining room table. Shuffling through various packets, I picked out the letter from the duke and read it over again. Duke Dermail was requesting my presence at a private dinner party for world leaders. I stifled a small sigh and took out a sheet of fresh paper to write a reply. I was thinking of what to write when there was a scrape of a chair. I looked to my right and nearly had a heart attack when I saw Heero sitting next to me. He had slipped on his usual attire of a long white collared shirt and black plants, looking impeccably neat at the early hours of morning.  
  
"W-what are you doing still awake?" I stammered. He had never paid a voluntary visit to me this whole month, why was he starting now? My hand floated near my pounding heart at the surprise. Reminding myself to take calm breaths, I took one of my first close looks at my husband. He stared at me with those impassive blue eyes that reminded me eerily of the sea I looked out at every day. My friends thought him handsome, but they hadn't gotten close enough to truly take a look at the cold expression that was permanently etched on his face.  
  
"You should be asleep." He said curtly. My hand fell to my lap as I interpreted his presence. Of course, he comes not worried but annoyed.  
  
"I'm not tired." I snapped and nearly slapped my head at my brusque tone. "I'm sorry. It's been a long two days. I'll be sure to go to sleep when I finish this letter. You should rest yourself." I said delicately. "I can take care of this myself." I bent over to start writing but he plucked the pen out of my hand.  
  
"Go sleep, I'll write the letter." He took the letter and waited for me to leave.  
  
"Why are you being nice?" I asked before I could even think of the question.  
  
"You're tired, go to sleep." He dismissed me and I felt myself growing angry at his command. Not only was I already too tired of his unresponsive attitude but I had too much to deal with at work and I didn't need the additional stress at home.  
  
"No, I won't go to sleep until you tell me. You've been acting like a cold fish for a whole month, and on top of that, you've been treating me like a disobedient child. And now you're starting to be nice? Did it take you a month to realize you're stuck with a woman like me forever?" I kept my voice low but every word came out stiff and harsh. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his lap, holding me in a tight embrace. His head moved close to mine so that our face was mere inches apart. His scent was a strange cologne I couldn't identify but I found myself deeply breathing it in. My mind was telling me to pull away but my head arched up a little to get closer to his.  
  
"Duo told me that you were starved for affection." He whispered and bent his head even closer.  
  
"Starved? For affection?" I jerked away from his looming lips. I pushed hard on his chest and tumbled off of his lap, falling on to the floor. "You think that by kissing me, it will solve any problems?" My voice cracked out in shock. I stood up, practically trembling in anger and disgust. "Even if I am starved for affection, I would never accept it from someone who feels compelled to give it! You heartless jerk!" I stomped all the way to my room but was careful not to slam the door. I tore off my clothes and climbed into my bed once more, still seething at the audacity of Heero. He was forcing himself to be kind? What kind of husband does that?? And why did Duo have to tell him? I growled as I pulled the covers over my head. He's definitely being reprimanded later. I still can't believe it. Was Heero pitying me? Was that why he was being intimate with me? That heartless jerk! Sleep finally came after several long hours of raged thinking and a pitiful state of mind.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The maid pinned up the last curl of my hair, leaving just a few to frame my face while the rest cascaded down from a jeweled pin in the back. She smiled into the mirror but it faded when she saw my stony expression. With a short bob of her head, she retreated the spacious dressing room and left me alone.  
  
Duo had kept shooting me wary looks all throughout the day and I could practically see the question mark floating above his head. I couldn't blame him for wanting to improve my home life and I knew he was being sincere. Which let me happily put all the blame on Heero. Yet, in my heart, I knew that I shouldn't and I couldn't find myself staying angry with him. I only felt immensely tired whenever I tried to figure him out, and that in itself led to more frenzied thinking on how I was going to keep this marriage from failing. He was obviously planning on doing nothing, which left me to do all mediating in our nonexistent relationship. After an hour of aimless thinking, I found myself getting nowhere in making myself feel better. Meanwhile, I had the ball to think of and all the various things I would have to do in order to secure my wobbly position as vice foreign minister of the world.  
  
I got up from my seat and walked to the floor length window that graced the north side of the room in regular intervals. There was a long road of twinkling lights that shone the way for the dozens of limos carrying people to the ball. Many of them were father's personal friends who had strongly supported him in the past. Hopefully, they will still be supporting pacifism by the time this ball is over. Most had already arrived and only a few fashionably late sped down the driveway of the Sank kingdom palace. My father had given the palace to me in his will but I wasn't inspired to take residence in the immense palace and my mother had retreated to her villa in western France. I peered down the dizzying heights and watched with mild curiosity at the gowned and flawlessly dressed figureheads of politics. They were all waiting for me to walk down the main staircase and I had only a handful of minutes before I would be officially late. I had no official escort and I had been too flustered with Heero to ask him to be mine. And considering how childish and stupid I had been early this morning, I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing him for a long time.  
  
I let out a wavering sigh and stood as straight as I could, my shoulders back and the neck perfectly arched, just as I had learned from my manners mistress at school. With a graceful swirl, I turned to look at the mirror just once more. A young girl looked back at me, pale skin from being overworked and blue eyes that were too bright from anxiety. The white flowing dress I had on barely flattered what little a figure I had, but at least the long skirt didn't emphasize my short stature. I looked at the clock, there was a minute left till 7 pm. It appeared that I would have to do down alone and I tried not to feel disheartened by Heero. I walked down the empty hallway and my courage almost failed me when I reached the corner of the staircase. I mentally patted myself on the back for getting this far solo and was lifting my foot to step down when a gloved hand touched my bare arm. I turned my head to see my brother. Peering through his mask of politeness, I lightly nodded my head at his apology, so Heero really wouldn't be here after all. I laid a hand on my brother's arm and we descended the stairs together. There were hundreds of diplomats, ambassadors, world leaders, and other central people of politics. Many of them showed optimistically eager faces as I came down. The orchestra struck up a tune and my brother and I danced the first dance. When other couples joined, he gave me up to Duo and laid a gentle kiss on my cheek before striding off to find his wife, Noin.  
  
"I got this funny feeling in my gut that something might happen tonight. Trowa and Quatre are feeling uneasy too, so be on your guard." He twirled me and pulled me back. "But don't worry about a thing, between the three of us, we got you covered. Just be careful." He gave me a wink and handed me to an elderly man before scurrying off to eye potentially dangerous looking men. The orchestra was just finishing the piece when a large explosion violently rocked the room, making the glass chandeliers dangerously rock above while screams tore the air. Another explosion happened and this time all the floor length glass windows shattered with the impact. People started to panic and run away but all I could do was stand and stare at a gigantic mobile suit that was standing in front of the windows with its back turned. It was different from any other mobile doll I had seen and I was transfixed as the machine took out a long green sword from its shield and began to fight off several mobile dolls with a strange elegance. When the enemy dolls had been cut apart, it turned around and looked straight at me. The intensity of the look it gave me felt strangely familiar despite the fact that it was only a machine.  
  
"Miss Relena! Miss Relena!" I turned around to see Quatre running over with Trowa following right behind. "We have to leave for a safer place!"  
  
I turned back to look at the machine but it had disappeared.  
  
"That machine..." I said intriguingly but my bodyguards dragged me out of the room. My limo was waiting outside and they hurriedly pushed me inside.  
  
"Where's Duo?" I asked as the limo sped away from the commotion. I glanced out the window and was shocked to see dozens of mobile suits lighting up the sky. "And why are they attacking us?"  
  
"Duo is helping out our soldiers. The enemy is a rebel group that branched off from the Alliance. From our guess, they thought that by eliminating most of your father's supporters then pacifism wouldn't be a reality." Quatre said as he restlessly watched the ongoing battle happening above.  
  
"But...why would they fight against pacifism?" I asked, puzzled.  
  
"They believe that human nature could never accept pacifism." Trowa said quietly as he, too, watched the battle outside. "And they are partially right."  
  
"That's not true, every human wants peace." I argued.  
  
"Let's save this debate for later, right now we have more important things to think about." Quatre cut in as he pointed at the empty sky. "Like tightening security. I didn't think they would send such a large group of soldiers." He gave a sigh. "I guess it just goes to show how desperate they are in abolishing pacifism."  
  
First father's assassination and now an attack toward father's supporters, what could happen next? An assassination towards me? I was planning on fulfilling peace between earth and the colonies. It looks like I'll have to be more cautious with people after my life.  
  
"I guess that means I'm not officially the vice foreign minister yet." I weakly joked as the limo arrived at my house. To my intense dislike, there were already mobile suits standing in a tight formation around my once peaceful house. "Is this absolutely necessary? It makes me feel like a hypocrite towards my beliefs when I have soldiers standing around to kill anybody who dissents."  
  
"Miss Relena, you are probably the only one who can finish your father's job of creating a world peace. At this point, the Alliance will do anything to protect that." Quatre said as we walked into the house. Milliardo was sitting in an armchair in the sitting room adjacent to the entrance hall. When he saw me come in, he stood up.  
  
"Good, you're safe. And I know you're frowning at the mobile suits out there but they are indispensable right now in consideration to your safety. And stop glaring at me. I'm having more soldiers posted around the house and you'll be doing your work as the vice foreign minister here instead of at the Alliance building." He ordered, expecting no objection.  
  
"I understand, but am I going to be sheltered here for the rest of my days? I can't do my work barricaded from the world, I still have to go around and advocate peace to the other countries." I said firmly as I took a seat near him, nervously smoothing my dress's soft material. I was startled when he took my hands into his.  
  
"It looks like I won't be able to stop you, huh? Then how about another compromise? You will have four bodyguards with you at all times along with soldier escorts wherever you go. Or you can work here with mobile suits all around." He said.  
  
"Four? I already have three." I pointed out.  
  
"Heero will be your fourth." He said quietly. "And don't argue against it, he has the qualities to be able to protect you. It's one of the reasons why we chose him."  
  
"Are you joking? We can't be in the same room without-"  
  
Milliardo grabbed my chin and looked down at me with serious blue eyes. I sighed and turned my eyes off to the side. He nodded his head at my submission and sat back in his seat.  
  
"I know it's hard to be around him but bear with it if you want to finish father's duties."  
  
"Well, thanks for bringing that up." I said a little rudely and stood up. "I'm going up to change and I refuse to have bodyguards in my room."  
  
"I'm afraid that's one thing I can't compromise."  
  
I stopped in my tracks and swiftly whirled around with wide eyes. "You wouldn't." I said curtly.  
  
"I have to, especially with the risks at hand. This rebel group is serious; we suspect they might have been behind father's assassination. And they already tried to kill father's supporters, including you. With the failure tonight, they'll be more desperate. And this is one thing you will not argue with me." He said sternly. I glumly said nothing and only turned around to go back upstairs. When I opened my suite's door, my face fell at the sight of Heero standing before my favorite window. We stood like that for a long stretch of time till he turned from his view outside to face me. I was the one who broke the silence first.  
  
"I know how little you think of me, but can we work out a small degree of cordiality towards each other? At least until the death threat is gone?"  
  
"Are you willing?" He asked.  
  
"I've been willing this past month, regardless of your indifference to me." I said, slightly annoyed. "I'm just wondering if you can manage to be at least somewhat civil while we have to sleep in the same room together."  
  
"I'm willing."  
  
"Thank you." And now it was time for the big question. "What side of the bed do you want?"  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Notes: I hope you guys enjoyed it and will leave me a long review on what you think, please!!!!!!  
  
Wing: yeah, that's what I was going for. You don't see a lot of stories where relena and hero haven't met and they just got married. I figured it would be a unique idea to use, but there will definitely be some relena/hero action going. I did put some in this chapter, but nothing too serious. But I'm planning on making it difficult for them to get together. I'm glad you like this story!  
  
Sweetangel4: very true, I've read some hero and relena marriage stories, but it usually seems to be that they already know each other and he gets jealous. I'm hoping my idea is unique 


	4. Wall of Indifference

Author's Notes: Woohoo! Over 6,000 words, which is about 13 pages on Word! I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter and please leave a long review of what you think and so forth. I really love reading long reviews, which is infinitely better than single word reviews like "update".  
  
Whispers of a Distant Star Chapter 3: Walls of Indifference  
  
~I'm always the one getting saved, aren't I? - Relena  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
I stared out of my window, still keeping to my daily ritual despite all the craziness that had interrupted my life lately. But this time, I couldn't think of anything. All I did was sit on the loveseat and stare at the cold machine standing right outside my window, blocking my view of the rising sun. The strong light of daybreak only illuminated the machine so that it stood in a sort of hazy halo. I was almost tempted to say beautiful until I remembered what the machines were for in the first place, death and battle.  
  
I didn't have to be awake so early, but sleep had evaded me again, just as it had these past few days. And I avoided looking into a mirror for fear of seeing humungous dark bags under my eyes. I probably looked like a zombie. I stifled a giggle and continued to watch the sun climb higher and chase the darkness away. I looked down at my ring finger and suddenly wished the sun could chase away the troubles in my life as well. All the ruckus that had happened so far is only the beginning and I predicted that there would be more obstacles in the future. The real question is, would I be strong enough to go through it all? I was aware that it all rested on me because the whole world was holding its breath for peace. My fingers grazed the window and I let out the sigh that had been tightening my chest for hours. It came out quiet and long, yet it carried the weight of my uncertainty. I turned around to look at my husband who was still sleeping on a cot erected far from my bed. Even in the same room, he couldn't stand being near me. What did I ever do to be treated so coldly?  
  
"Oh Heero." I breathed out.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
My brother wasn't kidding when he said I would be surrounded by soldiers and bodyguards every time I went out. Duo and Quatre was always at my side, Trowa at the front, and Heero at the rear. There were times during the day when I felt his heavy stare at my back and I fought down the uncomfortable shivers each time. Sometimes, I felt like the marriage had another meaning other than creating a tie between the colonies and earth. But I, being the coward that I was, couldn't bear to think of a reason that would demean the purpose of my marriage. I just want to keep sustaining myself with the thought that the marriage was for peace, for the good of the people. Yet, that tiny voice inside kept questioning the motives of the union, and the voice always grew louder whenever Heero was around.  
  
~  
  
I looked around the room to see if I had missed anything and clicked the suitcase shut with finality. I wouldn't be seeing my home for several months, since I was partaking a world trip to visit many leaders. Whether I would be fully welcomed or not, I had to try and win more people over to the side of pacifism. Heero, with his scarce belongings already packed, was standing by the door and waiting for me to finish. I threw a longing look at my favorite window and lifted the suitcase off the bed. Of course, me being a packrat, it landed on the floor with a loud thud from its heaviness. I took the handle with both hands and slowly made my way to the door. Heero reached over to hold my suitcase but I moved it out of his reach.  
  
"No thanks, I usually handle my suitcases myself." I said as politely as I could.  
  
"You don't have to act strong." He said in his flat tone and I fought down an unladylike growl.  
  
"I've lived my life before I met you, and I'm sure I can still continue doing so whether or not you are here." I said, rather disgruntled. "Now, if you could open the door for me please."  
  
He silently pushed the door away and waited for me to stumble along with my immense suitcase. I was thoughtfully looking down at the long flight of stairs when Heero's profile entered my vision. He was looking down the flight of stairs as well and I held my head high as I grabbed the handle again. I could have sworn he gave an exasperated sigh when he snatched the suitcase from my hands in a blurry move. He began to walk down the stairs with ease that instantly made me annoyed.  
  
"Hey," I called out as I followed him down. "I said I handle my own luggage, I don't need you doing it for me." I said as he set the suitcase at the foot of the stairs. He said nothing and walked out of the front door. I did one of the most childish gestures I had ever done, I stuck my tongue out at him. There was a chuckle and I whirled around to see Duo hold a mug of coffee.  
  
"I saw that." He said accusingly. "One word babe, blackmail."  
  
I flipped my hair over my shoulder, a move I had seen many of my old classmates do. With a nonchalant hmph, I picked up my suitcase and once again slowly made my way to the limo.  
  
"I still don't know why you insist on doing that every year." Duo said, shaking his head as he accompanied me outside. It had already grown dark and the sky was slashed with strokes of dark crimson and heavy purple. I paused for a second to gaze out at the sky, wondering when would be the next time I'd have the luxury of staring up at the comforting heavens.  
  
"Because, everybody does everything for me, and I want to do something by myself." I said as I heaved the suitcase in the back. Once my task was done I happily smiled at another victorious mission of getting my suitcase into the car.  
  
~  
  
My tour around the world was relatively successful and I was rarely greeted with opposition towards my ideals. Now there was only one country left to visit, Italy, which was saved as the last stop. I had asked Heero what he had written to the Duke and he only responded with his usual hn, which I decided to interpret as a yes. Duke Dermail's men met us at the airport and we were transported to his spacious mansion in the countryside in stretch limos. My worries of the Duke increased when we arrived at his home. His house was wonderful, four stories high and painted in soothing peaches and whites, but what disturbed me was the amount of soldiers he kept around his residence. There were mobile suits, soldiers with long rifles marching around, and even two tanks situated near the gleaming gold gates that automatically opened when the limos came close.  
  
"Soldiers." I muttered under my breath. "Why does he need them for a simple diplomatic party?"  
  
"Duke Dermail fears loosing his power more than anything else. Though I think the security's been upped because of you." Trowa commented.  
  
"Me? And what am I going to do to him? Talk him to death?" I grumbled as the door opened. I immediately placed a smile on my face at the sight of a tall elderly man who had a powerful stature. His own smile was sincere enough but I also noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. "Duke Dermail, I would like to thank you for inviting us to your splendid home."  
  
"Miss Relena, it's good to see you alive and safe. The whole western country has been talking about you for weeks and all the other nobility in Italy has been very anxious to meet you." He waved a hand to his house. "I hope your stay here will be enjoyable."  
  
He gently placed a hand on my back as he led me in, casually talking of the various foreign princes, noblemen, and others that were a part of the wealthy circle in Italy. I felt, rather than saw, my bodyguards arrange themselves around me, close enough that they could protect me in a sudden attack, but far enough that the Duke and I could comfortably chat. He had one of the most charming manners I've ever met, but it still couldn't erase away the harsh picture of a looming battle outside the house. It was later at night, when I was brushing my hair in front of the mirror, that Heero relayed my fears into words.  
  
"Watch yourself around the Duke." He said while he was looking at me through the mirror. I placed the brush on the dressing table and turned around.  
  
"Why?" I asked curiously as I walked with leisure to the immense bed. Tonight would be the first night we would sleep in a bed together. The Duke knew Heero and I were married and to ask for a cot would clearly state that our marriage was a failure, something I did not wanted out for the public to know. "I know I should be cautious around him, but why do you think so?"  
  
"Just do it." He said as he slipped his shirt over his head. I quickly turned around and masked my move with the motive of turning off the bright lamp on the desk near me. When I turned around, he was already in the bed, his back turned against me and the covers pulled almost completely over him. My gaze lingered on his form for a second before I snuggled into the bed as well. We were separated by a short amount of space, but inside, it felt so much farther. There would always be some kind of barrier, and even if we were this close, leagues seemed to invisibly divide us. I clenched my eyes shut and tried to swat away any more thoughts on Heero, concentrating purely on what I should say and do for tomorrow's meeting with Italy's political heads. It must have worked because the only thing I remembered was Heero slightly shifting his position.  
  
Early morning greeted me and I blinked for a second before realizing where I was. I had been having one of the best dreams I've had; I was safe and warm, but the most vivid detail of all was the security of the arms that had held me. Everything else was hazy and irrelevant in the dream, all except those arms. The Victorian style bedroom came into focus as I sat up. Heero had already woken up and was gone, probably eager to get away from his wife as soon as possible. With a quick stretch and a rub of the eyes, I was off to the bathroom for a shower and a change of clothes. I had carefully chosen my outfit for this meeting, knowing that the politicians of Italy were hard to sway, but their support would mean that pacifism would truly become a reality. After donning the outfit Milliardo recommended, I gave a one sided smile at the image in the mirror. I looked like a royal prince from the past, and with my hair tied back, I looked more boy than woman. Still, I trusted my brother and I walked downstairs to the dining room in confidence.  
  
Two new people greeted me inside the breakfast room. The Duke's granddaughter, Dorothy Catalonia, and his young son, Dante Dermail. Dorothy was similar to her grandfather, charming manners and all. Yet, one couldn't mistake the warlike glint her eyes flashed every once in a while. Dante was surprisingly young for being Dermail's son and appeared to be in his early twenties. His manners weren't quite as charismatic as the duke and his granddaughter but he gave off an aura that was as powerful as his father's. Dorothy had energetically greeted me first by nearly pouncing on me when I first entered, Dante waited until his nephew had finished her enthusiastic greetings.  
  
"Dante." I said, remembering the name from somewhere. "The poet, right?"  
  
He gave me a perfect smile. "You are well read, but I for one would abstain from going to hell."  
  
I chortled at his comment as he helped me into my chair.  
  
"Grandfather said to forgive him for not being here but that he would be on time for the meeting at ten." Dorothy said. "He had urgent business that suddenly turned up. Uncle Dante was suppose to entertain you until the big meeting but something came up for him too, so I'll be showing you around today."  
  
"Don't call me uncle, that makes me feel old." He joked as he affectionately pinched Dorothy's cheek.  
  
"22 is old enough." Dorothy said before she turned to me. "Miss Relena, I would love to hear about your plans for the future of earth, would you like me to show you around the house while we talk?"  
  
"I hope you don't mind four pairs of ears tagging along." I said as we stood to leave.  
  
"No problem at all, I can see you and your bodyguards are close friends. And I'm sure that we can all have an interesting debate on how to spread peace to the colonies and earth." Dorothy replied as she led us all down a marble hallway. Works of art hung everywhere, a verification to the duke's impeccable taste of the arts.  
  
"So do you think pacifism will exist in this world?" Dorothy asked as we passed through a pair of doors and out into the warm morning sun.  
  
"The people having been wanting it for a long time, it's just that not many have taken steps to do it. I hope that by reaching out to the world leaders, they will be able to destroy all weaponry and banish war from the world." I answered.  
  
"Oh! But Miss Relena, it will be impossible to stamp out battle. It is human nature to cause conflicts with each other, our survival instinct demands wars to be had." Dorothy exclaimed as we walked down a paved pathway around the rose garden. I paused to sniff a blooming red rose before continuing to walk. The garden was truly a piece of work, there were so many different colors and types of roses, the fragrance of the flowers combined was like a slice of heaven as I breathed deeply of the floral scent.  
  
"True, but it is also human nature to desire peace and happiness, and it is that instinct that has dominant rule in the heart. As people, we cannot stand the despair and hopelessness from war, and that is what I'm trying to prevent. Wars bring death, sadness, and so many other things. By bringing total pacifism, we can avoid those altogether. And through unification we can become a stronger nation together." Dorothy clapped her hands at my words and almost jumped up and down.  
  
"Beautiful, simply beautiful! You are justly called the leader of peace, Miss Relena! I can't wait to see how the future changes because of you!" She stopped asking questions about that and switched the subject to more mundane things. The only time we reached a barrier was when she asked of my marriage.  
  
"I heard that you were recently married Miss Relena. Who is the lucky man? Many people have been wondering who it is, including myself."  
  
I paused, trying to think of the right words to say with Heero right behind me. I decided to favor the bold truth by turning around to face him. "My husband....Heero Yuy." I introduced him and he gave a small bow. Dorothy raised an eyebrow and looked down at the gold band on his finger, then instantly beamed at us.  
  
"What a romantic story! Your husband is your bodyguard? When did you fall in love?" She asked excitedly.  
  
I paused, once again unsure of what to say. But I didn't need to as Heero grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers into mine. "We met a few years ago and got engaged just last year." He lied flawlessly without blinking. "I wanted to protect her so I signed up for the job."  
  
"How romantic, I wish that my future husband will be just the same!" She said.  
  
"I'm sure your future husband will love you very much." I said warmly and we continued on our walk, abandoning the subject of marriage. Strangely, Heero kept his hold on my hand till the end of the walk around the garden. It felt almost natural. Our hands fit so perfectly with each other, his hand wasn't so big that it completely overlapped mine but not so small that is was hard to hold, it was perfect. And instead of being cold like it was at the wedding, it was warm and I could feel the hard calluses on his palm. With the sun shining, polite conversation being thrown around, and the general cheery atmosphere, I was almost able to believe the lie Heero told; that we really were in love and were happily married. But reality came crashing down when he released my hand as soon as we went back inside the house, the movement was quick and intentional. I tried not to look down at my hand as Dorothy led us to the conference room. But the remnants of that warmth made me want to make a fist and preserve what was left.  
  
I could already hear the men inside talking and I walked into the room alone, my bodyguards waiting outside. Duo winked, Quatre grinned, and even Trowa managed to give a small encouraging smile. Heero had turned away and was looking outside the tall window facing the conference room doors. I looked away from him as a servant closed the door. There were roughly twenty politicians in all, ranging in all sorts of ages and positions. They all stood from their seats when I came into the room and sat down when I did.  
  
"Good morning gentlemen, I'm glad you were all able to make it to this important meeting." Duke Dermail said. "And I'm sure you are already aware of our guest of honor, Vice Foreign Minister Relena Peacecraft."  
  
I gave a nod of my head and cleared my throat to begin my speech. "Gentlemen, Duke Dermail has gathered you all here today to hear my proposal for the new future of earth. I am advocating total pacifism throughout the entire world. Too many wars have ravaged the souls and hearts of the people of earth, and now is the time to begin a new age of peace and happiness. Which is why I am asking many countries to disarm their weapons and cease having them altogether. As hard as this may seem, as leading men yourselves, many people look up to you and your actions will speak a thousand words of what you want for your country. I ask not the people to disarm, but the leaders because it is they who hold the most power and influence. Pacifism has never worked in the past because countries did not unite in disarming their weapons and soldiers. By doing so now, we can eradicate the pain and suffering stemmed from wars."  
  
"You are asking us to become bare weaklings in the face of many nations. Will you condemn us as weak countries who cannot defend themselves?" One of the men spoke up, a few others nodded their head in agreement.  
  
"By asking all countries to unite, nobody will have weapons to attack anybody. And they will have no purpose to do so if the country is advocating peace." I answered and took a sip of the tea they had laid out.  
  
"And what if not all the countries agree? What if some secede and decide to attack the defenseless countries that did disarm?" The man asked again.  
  
I took a sigh. I could see this was going to last throughout most of the afternoon. I took another sip and readied myself in answering the barrage of questions they would all throw at me. They were no different from the other reluctant leaders I had talked to, but if I was lucky, many of them would change their decisions.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I opened my mouth and a harsh, dry sound came out. After some forced coughing I was able to speak in a somewhat normal tone.  
  
"What?" I asked to Quatre. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about something else."  
  
"So how did the meeting go?" He asked again. After the meeting, we all had a lunch filled with proper conversation on world happenings and stances on different political views. I had just been able to escape the clutches of the politicians and had joined my bodyguards for a stroll around the beautiful rose garden as dusk filled the sky. At least none of those mobile suits were standing around.  
  
"I managed to answer all their questions, but Duke Dermail was surprisingly the most supportive out of all of them." I said broodingly. "Which is strange, coming from a man who has practically his own army. But, maybe he's changed his mind now." I plucked a fully grown white rose and tucked it into my low ponytail.  
  
"Yeah, maybe." Duo said as he threw a rock into a nearby pond.  
  
"You don't sound too convinced." I said as I sat down on a small white bench.  
  
"Let's just say the honorable Duke isn't too honorable in some respects." Quatre said cryptically.  
  
"What do you mean?" I demanded, Heero had already said not to trust Dermail. If the others were saying that too, then there was definitely something wrong.  
  
"Don't worry your busy head about it." Duo said with a playful grin. "Leave the protecting to the bodyguards."  
  
"You make me feel like a little girl." I complained out loud.  
  
"That's because you still are." He tweaked my nose and laughed as I indulged in a babyish pout.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I could feel it. That horrible feeling of premonition. Something was going to happen tonight, and yet, nobody seems to feel it except me. Everybody is calm and relaxed but I can't shake off the feeling that something malevolent was coming close. I sat stiffly in the armchair and kept glancing over towards the doors and window, practically anticipating something evil to come in.  
  
"Are you alright?" Dante asked as he took the armchair near me. "You look tense."  
  
"Eh, it's nothing, I think I'm just a little tired. I believe I'll retire for the night." I said good naturedly. "Good night Mr. Dermail."  
  
He grabbed my hand and brushed his lips across my skin, creating a strange tingling feeling. "And a good night to you, Miss Relena."  
  
I gave a watered down version of my courtly smile and quickly walked out. Heero was waiting outside the library and quietly walked beside me to my room. I didn't pay attention to his silent presence, focusing my thoughts on the sick feeling in my gut, which still hadn't disappeared. I was jumpy and nervous and my eyes were darting at dark corners as if something monster was going to jump out and say boo. I finally gave a sigh and turned to ask one of my least favorite people.  
  
"Do you feel...well, like something might happen?" I asked warily as we walked down the well-lit carpeted hallway to our bedroom.  
  
"Don't worry about it." He said monotonously. "You just concentrate on your mission."  
  
I grabbed the sleeve of his white shirt and turned him to face me, surprising myself with my daring move. "I keep getting this feeling like something bad is going to happen tonight. I feel stupid enough for telling you, but can you at least take me seriously? I haven't felt like this in ages, but the last time I did, someone tried to assassinate my entire family."  
  
"The Crimson incident." He said and I fearfully nodded my head. Just four years ago, when all my family had been together then, a group of terrorists had actually managed to sneak into the grounds and trapped us in the house. I could still remember the white faces of my parents as they tried to hide Milliardo and me inside a small closet, the sounds of bullets shattering the air. The army arrived in time but it was hours before they managed to eradicate the last of the terrorists. Nobody had ever gotten so close to killing a Peacecraft until then. It was from that point on that we started living in separate houses. It was for the protection of the Peacecraft rule, I was told, but it took me a long time to adjust living alone.  
  
"Will you at least tell the others to be on their guard?" I pleaded. He lifted his arm and placed his index finger on my lips, immediately quieting me.  
  
"Don't ever be afraid. You have nothing to fear but fear itself." He lightly ran his finger across my lips, letting it linger, then dropped his hand so he could open the door to our room. I touched my lips and walked into the room with him. There was a small click and I gave a gasp at the gun pointed straight at my face. Heero had his hands in the air, looking calmly at the soldiers in our room. An ambush? How did they get into the house so easily?  
  
"Don't be afraid." Heero said and I gulped at his words, staring down the barrel of the gun to the man pointing at me. He was wearing civilian clothes to mask which organization he was from but he had the hard look all soldiers obtained after countless battles.  
  
"Miss Relena, I apologize for our transgression but we won't allow you to destroy the Alliance with your ideals." He said politely.  
  
"This won't solve anything." I said as he herded me out the door. There were more civilian clothed soldiers outside and they led me further down the hall and into another room. It was a bare study with only a large desk and a fireplace in it. I looked around the men but couldn't see Heero amongst them. My captor pressed one of the bricks making up the fireplace and it moved to show a small doorway. Where were all my bodyguards? Maybe now was the time to struggle. One of the soldiers must have caught the look in my eyes; he lifted his machine gun so that it was pointing directly at me. Damn, so much for escaping from a crowd of trained militant soldiers with guns. I was allowed one look at the study door, which didn't bang open to reveal my four furious bodyguards. Well, I guess I could cross escape and rescue off my list.  
  
There was a circular flight of iron stairs leading down to an enormous hanger full of mobile suits and a carrier plane. There had to be over a score of mobile suits, ones that I had never seen before. They looked brand new and more advanced than the normal suits. The group of soldiers were leading me to the plane when there was a loud explosion from the stair case that we had come from. The force of the impact rocked the hanger and made me trip over my feet. A few of the men swore and ran toward the explosion. Unfortunately, the majority stayed with me and began to lead me up the walkway into the plane at a quick run. I tried to lag behind but to my disgust, a tall broad shouldered brute threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I tried kicking but I half expected to hear a metallic clunk every time my foot unsuccessfully smacked his chest.  
  
"You-*kick* have no right *kick* to kidnap me *kick* during a diplomatic visit!" I protested. It must have worked because he stopped running up the walkway. "Good, now you can let me go." He stood frozen and I frowned at his inaction. What was distracting him? I twisted my head around to see one of the new mobile suits pointing its massive gun down at them.  
  
"Freeze! Drop all your weapons and release the Vice Foreign Minister!" Shouted a voice behind us. I looked ahead and gave a sigh of relief at the uniformed soldiers wearing Duke Dermail's insignia, right on time. But where were my bodyguards??? The man holding me gradually set me down and lifted his hands up in defeat. After that, it was all routine as every single man was put in handcuffs and led away. There was a compressed hiss and I whirled around to see someone drop out of the mobile suit.  
  
"Heero?" I said as he casually walked towards me. "How did you escape?"  
  
"It was simple." He replied.  
  
"Then what took you so long to rescue me?" I asked, feeling relieved enough to relax. "And why does Duke Dermail have all these new-"He placed a finger on my lips again to silence me. All of a sudden, he grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, hugging me so tightly that every line of our bodies was pressed intimately together. His lips were in my ear and I suppressed an urge to giggle as his breath ticked me.  
  
"Don't ask anything right now and pretend to be ignorant, they're watching us. Your questions will be answered only by me later on." His hand reached up to gently stroke my hair. Gods, when did he become such a good actor? I rested my head against his chest and nodded my head in agreement, despite the fact that I knew he was just putting on a show. He stopped his stroking and took my hand, leading me out of the hanger and back to the bare study above. More of Duke Dermail's soldiers were waiting along the way and the Duke himself, along with Dorothy and Dante, were in the room when we came up.  
  
"Miss Relena! I'm so glad to see you safe! I can't believe those rebels had the nerve to kidnap you here! And in my home as well!" The duke cried out. I didn't answer and only gave a weak smile. "I apologize from the bottom of my heart at what has happened. Security will be tripled immediately."  
  
"You have no need to apologize, Duke Dermail. You played no hand in the kidnapping, and luckily, your soldiers were able to save me before it could happen."  
  
"Heero saved you." Dorothy said. She brought her hands together with a smile. "It's just like a romantic fairytale! A kidnapping! Rebels! Guns! And a rescue!"  
  
Dante said nothing and only looked at me with a strange flash in his ocean blue eyes. He quelled his niece's enthusiasm by placing a hand on her arm, but he never took his eyes off of me. I wanted to squirm under his strong gaze but decided to switch my attention to the duke.  
  
"The minister is worn out and shocked from her experience, may we be allowed to retire for the night?" Heero asked.  
  
"Of course of course, I'll have soldiers posted outside by the bedroom window and its doors." The duke waved his hand at some of the soldiers standing around who saluted and followed Heero and I out.  
  
"Heero?" I asked and he gave a warning squeeze of his hand. I stifled a sigh. It looks like my answers will have to come later.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It's hard to say when I've last felt completely safe. Meaning, there was no niggling voice at the back of my head wondering if I was in safe company. No worries that some terrorist might explode the building I'm having a meeting in. No fear that someone might break into my room and kill me in my sleep. My life seemed to always hang by a thread so precarious that I had given up a long time ago the hope for a normal life. And here I am now, sitting at the edge of the bed and staring out of a window again. And again, my view is blocked by a mobile suit. I fingered the pearl button of my white jacket, and then slipped it off while simultaneously kicking off my shoes.  
  
Heero, I suppose, is brooding away in his isolated corner. And somehow, I felt like the loneliest person in the world. Like nobody could reach through all the barriers that had been erected before me. I was a politician, a world leader, a diplomat, a princess, and so many other things, but the real point is, those positions all came before me, as in me the young woman who was still 17 years old. Before I knew it, a teardrop had fallen from my eye and I quickly wiped it away, disguising the act as the pretense of moving my loose hair out of my face. I gave a stubborn look at the window, now wasn't the time to look at the world through a veil of self-pity. I had played a hand in becoming the person I was today. Father never forced me to be an ambassador and I certainly hadn't been forced in becoming the vice foreign minister. With mother still mourning from father's death and Milliardo busy with other affairs, I didn't have anybody to look to. What if the path I was taking was the wrong one? Would it really lead to peace?  
  
"Heero...what do you think peace really is?" I asked. "Is it really just an ideal that is out of reach?"  
  
"Peace..." He paused, as if he was mulling over the meaning.  
  
"Are you someone who thinks peace is nothing but a result of war?" I asked, still looking at the window. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask you such a personal question. If you don't mind, I'm going to take a bath."  
  
I stood up and walked into the spacious bathroom. It actually had inner rooms within the bathroom itself. There was a small closet full of silk bathrobes, a room with the toilet, a room for the shower, the main room with large mirrors and sinks, and a room for just the bath alone. A master designer had shaped the room in a hexagon with the huge underground bathtub in the middle. A shelf off to the side offered a variety of bath bubbles and I picked one that smelled of roses. After hanging my clothes up, I stepped into the full tub with a sigh. I scooped a handful of bubbles and blew at it, causing the white bubbles to float up to the ceiling. Leaning my head back, I drifted into a semi conscious state where I was only half aware that I had been recently kidnapped today. As the rose fragrance filled the air, my breathing grew heavier until I was on the brink of sleep. Then I heard the soft sound of bare feet against marble. I jerked my head up to see Heero staring down at me.  
  
"Heero?! What are you doing in here?!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Protecting you." He said.  
  
"There's only one way in and out of this room." I pointed out as I went deeper under the bubbles until only my head poked out. "They would have to get through the bedroom first in order to get in here."  
  
He pointed up at the small ventilation shaft off at the corner.  
  
"Oh." I thought hard for a second and begged one last time. "Can't you wait just outside the bathroom then?"  
  
He gave me one of his looks.  
  
"Fine fine, but don't turn around."  
  
He surprised me for the umpteenth time today when he stepped into the bath with his clothes on, the water making his shirt and pants cling tightly to his skin. I gave a loud yelp and moved away from him.  
  
"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, extremely embarrassed as I covered my chest with my arms, forgetting that the mountains of bubbles hid me.  
  
"I'm not going to do anything that you're thinking of." He said as he moved closer. He sat beside me and pulled me between his legs.  
  
"Wha-"  
  
"Ssh." He said in my ear as he laid his hands on my shoulders and...began to massage me? His fingers gently worked in rhythmic circles on my tense shoulders and before I knew it, I was soon melting in relaxation. I was too mellow to object and started to lean against him as he began to move to my neck.  
  
"Do you think...that...you could ever....love me?" I asked drowsily, hardly aware of what I was saying.  
  
"Could you ever love me?" He asked back.  
  
"No fair....I....asked first." I replied, my eyelids drooping from sleepiness. "....Maybe I could.....if you would ever.....let me get..... past....your walls of indifference."  
  
"Then the answer to your question-"  
  
I couldn't hold the weariness back any longer and I was asleep before my eyes could fully close.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Notes: Yes! I know I'm being cruel to leave you hanging like that. But for a writer like me, it was the perfect moment to end the chapter! But hey, I made up for it by making this chapter super long! Don't forget to review!!!!! (I like long reviews) p.s. The next chapter might be a little late in coming, I spent a lot of time just getting the first four out, plus, add in homework, and the update will be late, just to warn you guys. Don't be disgruntled! Have patience with me!  
  
Sonicboom: definitely, I'm not going to have them pissed off and angry at each other for that long. I'm saying that there will be obstacles and such that will impede their relationship. Whew, who in the world can stay mad at each other for months and months?  
  
Wing: the answer to why heero became her husband will come later. I'm not going to go really heavy on other guys/girls barging into their relationship, I like to keep the focus on the main couple most of the time.  
  
Is-u: wow, was I? I was just kinda emphasizing on his character from the series. He grew up pretty cynical because of joining OZ and killing lots of people. And he isn't a coward for declining the position of minister, uh, well, at least I think that's what ur talking about. ^^ in the anime, he confesses that his hands are too bloody to take the throne. But more on why its bloody will come later in the story. And the marrying noin, well, I like to focus on the main couple, so I decided why not just have them already married.  
  
Rekka's Angel: Thanks! I think I'm making Relena's character a bit non adultish, but I'm just going to put that on the fact that she hasn't experienced the real difficult stuff yet. She'll mature later on as the story moves  
  
Melodi Moon: I'm so glad readers are leaving me nice substantial reviews, I rarely get so many. It's usually brief demands for an update. I hope you liked this chappy! 


	5. Precarious Future

Author's Notes: Wow, I'm actually surprised that I managed to finish this chapter so quickly. I was expecting at least a month to pass by. But you can give thanks to the Black Rose for the inspiration I received after reading some of her stories, which I highly recommend, and if you haven't read any of her, GO! READ! Hurry before your life slips through your fingers!  
  
Whispers of a Distant Star Chapter 4: Precarious Future  
  
- Soaring forth, I can feel the heavens on my wings but the memory of you pulls me back. Until your persistence dies down I'm forever condemned to the earth, never to fly, never to rise.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
I don't know what frightened me the most. The fact that was I was sleeping in a Chinese silk robe without a memory of how I slipped it on, or the fact that I woke up with him sleeping next to me, our heads close enough that I could see every angle of his face. It was the first time I've seen him so...peaceful. It made him appear younger and carefree, and not the automaton that studiously protected me. I must have been gazing at him for some time when his eyes blinked open, and he returned to his normal semblance. At least I had the dignity to squash down the blush that threatened to ignite my cheeks. He quickly sat up and ran his fingers through his wild brown hair, a movement I had never seen him use. After making sure my robe was securely wrapped I sat up as well.  
  
"Eh, um, the robe....uh.." I stammered, feeling incredibly naïve as I tried to think of a light way for asking whether he saw me naked or not. He turned away and slipped off the high European bed.  
  
"I asked a maid to come in." He said as he walked to the bathroom.  
  
"Oh." I said to the empty room. Why did I feel disappointed? It was at this point I smartly smacked myself in the head for thinking such misleading thoughts.  
  
"Pack your things, we're going back." He called out.  
  
"Why? The diplomatic talks aren't done yet." I argued as I walked towards my suitcase. "And I'm not stopping just because of an ill conceived kidnapping."  
  
"You have been conveniently called back home due to an emergency that only you can alleviate." He ordered as he stepped back into the bedroom.  
  
"I can't, I need these politicians' support if I want earth united towards one purpose. And I'm sure there's no more danger now, who would be stupid enough to commit a second kidnapping?" I snapped as I grabbed some clothes from my suitcase. He quickly strode over to me and grabbed my chin with strong fingers. I tried to move my face away but he jerked my chin up so we were looking at each other, eye to eye. His Prussian blue eyes stared down at me so heavily I could feel it.  
  
"Duke Dermail asked you to come for a specific reason, one that is not tied in with pacifism. The diplomatic talks were over the second you stepped into that conference room yesterday." He said sternly, as if addressing a disobedient child. "Unless you plan on staying here and risking it all-"  
  
I angrily slapped his hand away and took several steps back. "First off, don't try putting the blame on me when all of you kept me ignorant of the so called risk you're saying there is! Second, I don't care if the diplomatic talks were over when I came here, at least I can say that I tried instead of running away with my tail between my legs! Third, since when did you start deciding what I have to do? I'm not a little girl and I know what kind of dangers there are in my position! You think I just decided one day to become a foreign minister? I know what I'm doing and I've been able to survive this far on my own, so stop treating me like I know nothing!"  
  
Fuming, I stomped over to the bathroom but held enough self-control to not slam the door. I couldn't believe how condescending he was, ordering my life! And I couldn't believe that my own bodyguards withheld information regarding my safety here! Why didn't they tell me? Did that mean they already knew a kidnapping was supposed to happen? How did Dermail fit into all of this? And did they think that one incident such as yesterday's would frighten me off from peace forever? And where the hell are all my bodyguards? I crossly sat down on the Turkish couch placed in the bathroom and tapped my heels together. Why there was a couch in the bathroom, I couldn't figure out but I ran my fingers over the soft material anyways.  
  
"Breathe, Relena, breathe." I said to myself, exhaling and inhaling in regular intervals. I felt the tenseness ease just the tiniest bit away. "Argh!" I can't believe I lost my temper back there! Maybe Heero really did deserve to treat me like a kid. I just blew up in his face when all he was doing was trying to protect me. Maybe it was too dangerous for me to stay, but I need Italy's support. Am I being too stubborn for my own good? I tiredly propped my chin on my hands and vacantly stared at the wide mirror before me. Maybe I needed a vacation, despite the fact that some of what Heero said really ticked me off, the least I could have done was hear him out and behave like an adult, not a spoiled teenager.  
  
And now there's this dilemma surrounding Duke Dermail. I wasn't comfortable around him, but he couldn't be planning some diabolical scheme, would he? If my bodyguards knew about this, then why didn't they warn me? Did they think I would cause trouble, so they decided me being ignorant was safer? Heero definitely did, Duo might have, Trowa, I don't know, and Quatre couldn't tell a lie even if he tried. An interrogation with my bodyguards was definitely in order later on, that is if I see any of them.  
  
I slowly changed into the clothes I had grabbed, stretching time so that I wouldn't have to see Heero in the next room. After meticulously zipping up the grey knee length skirt and slipping on the cowl neck cream shirt, I poked my head out of the bathroom and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the room was unoccupied. I nearly screeched when I spotted a darkly clothed figure standing right beside me. Holding my rapidly beating chest, I closed my eyes.  
  
"Can you please make some sort of sound indicating that you're in a room?" I asked and only received his silence. I slumped my shoulders in defeat. "Never mind. I...eh.....I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I was completely out of line on some of the things I said and I acted, erm, very immature." I silently cursed myself for sounding so ridiculous, even to my own ears.  
  
Heero only turned his back and started walking towards the door. "It doesn't matter." He said.  
  
I could only grab my suitcase and wordlessly follow him while contemplating in my head whether what he said was a good thing or a bad thing. I was betting on the latter...  
  
"Hey babe." Said a familiar voice. I stopped zoning out in my thoughts to see all my bodyguards waiting right outside the door. With a cheery smile, I walked up to the men and they all looked nervously upon my approaching figure.  
  
"Soooo," I breathed out. "How have you been these past 24 hours? Oh, don't worry about asking how I've been, my days have been just wonderful so far. Shall we get going? I believe I am scheduled to leave for home today due to an emergency only I can alleviate." I said so sarcastically that I felt all four of them wince.  
  
"Miss Relena, we do have an explanation to our whereabouts last night during your, erm, attempted kidnapping." Quatre said gently. I felt my annoyance drain away as I remembered that I was supposed to act as an adult and not a teenager. My smile faded down to a regular half smile and the tension in the air relaxed.  
  
"I'm sure the excuse is valid, but I'm guessing the setting isn't suitable to tell it in?" I presumed. He gave an apologetic smile and reached over to hold my suitcase but I moved it away from his hand. "It's fine, I'll carry it."  
  
"Miss Relena." A voice boomed out. I turned around to see Duke Dermail striding down the carpeted hallway.  
  
"Duke Dermail." I gave a nod of my head. "I must give my most sincerest apologies for this inconvenience. I had earnestly hoped to spend a few more days here but my work at home calls for me. I trust that we will be able to meet sometime again?"  
  
"You read my mind, Miss Relena. It is my intention to taste the beauty of the Sank kingdom sometime in the near future." For some reason he looked past me and stared straight at Heero. "Dorothy and Dante both insisted yesterday on visiting you." He began to escort me down the hallway and out into the marble foyer.  
  
"Nothing will be spared to make your stay as comfortable as possible. I hope that I'll be able to return the generosity you have shown me." I gave a bow as a black limo pulled up to the front of the house. A flash of golden hair caught my eye and I looked up at a window off to the left on the third floor. It was Dante looking down and I briefly nodded my head to signify as a farewell. He gave what appeared to be a sardonic smile and bowed deeply before me, a servant's bow to a reigning sovereign. Was he being sarcastic? I was shaken from my thoughts by Dermail's voice.  
  
"Look for us in the next three months, Miss Relena, I'll send word of our arrival a week before." I gave him my hand and he placed a soft kiss on it. He gave a regal bow as I stepped into the limo. Once inside I gave my bodyguards a look.  
  
"Well? Out with it." I demanded as the car began to move.  
  
"We were checking around to see if Dermail was starting a revolution. The only way we could have been able to get within the perimeter of his house was if we were formally invited. Any other attempt would have alerted the army around him and we would lose our secrecy." Quatre admitted.  
  
"Is he staging a revolution?" I asked anxiously.  
  
"There wasn't enough evidence to condemn him but we did find an unusual amount of weapons and soldiers at his beck and call." Trowa added. "His computer files showed up with nothing, which means he's keeping all his private information someplace else."  
  
"So...the diplomatic talks were for nothing?" I asked rhetorically. "Was Dermail the one who ordered my kidnapping?"  
  
"We can't answer that right now." Heero said and I fought the urge to give a frown. Why did I feel like they were withholding information from me again? I had been getting that feeling too often lately. I only scrutinized each of my bodyguard's face and let the matter drop. If they were going to keep a secret from me, so be it. I had too much to worry about to include the anxiousness of what they were keeping from me. But it didn't stop me from thinking over every moment I had spent in Dermail's house. He had not betrayed anything in every action, not even after the kidnapping. He had appeared to be concerned about me, but then again, actors can fool anybody.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Milliardo, why do I feel like everybody's keeping something from me these days?" I paced back and forth in his office, my bodyguards waiting outside. It had been a month after my visit to Italy and the atmosphere of secrecy had thickened during that time. I could catch hidden looks being passed around me and so far I had been patient enough to keep my mouth shut. But I wasn't too fond of being left out of the circle.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked as he looked up from his book. He placed the book on his desk and leaned forward to rest his chin upon his fingers, giving me his full attention.  
  
"I'm not sure. It's just, lately, I feel like there's something going on and I'm being left out it. And to make it even worse, I feel like it might have to do with me. Are you up to something?" I stopped my aggravated pacing to look at him, warily searching for any hint of deception in those ice blue eyes.  
  
"Perhaps." He said cryptically. "You need to concentrate on your job. You have that Alliance conference in a few days, you should prep for that."  
  
"Stop avoiding the subject. What's going on that you aren't telling me?" I walked up to his window and placed my nervous fingers in the pocket of my linen pants.  
  
"You've been receiving threats lately and we've been trying to find out who it is." He said simply and I felt him get up from his seat and move behind me. "We didn't want you to worry about it." He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Meanwhile, I've noticed you've lost color lately. Is everything alright back at home?"  
  
He was avoiding the subject again, and my lie detector was flashing bright warning lights. Maybe he was being honest and there really were threats, but that wasn't what was putting everybody on the edge, I received threats all the time. I merely leaned back against his long frame and continued to look blankly outside the window.  
  
"Heero is being his normal reclusive self. I think the most we traded this whole month was whether the weather would be good or not. Milliardo, this marriage really was for nothing, wasn't it? And don't lie to me about it...please. This marriage isn't doing good for anybody. Not even the public is too aware of it, most of them still think I'm single. And I'm starting to believe the whole tie between earth and space is just a facade."  
  
"If you truly believe that right now, why didn't you say anything before the wedding?" He asked.  
  
"Do you think I had a choice?" I said angrily. "The Alliance chose me to be the representative, since father was well known in the colonies. Anything for the reassurance of the people, right?" I said bitterly. "Isn't that what the marriage was for? To ease the fears of the people? To make them believe peace really is right around the corner? A girl from earth and a boy from space marrying."  
  
Milliardo's grip on my shoulders tightened. "Don't think that. Your marriage already has done a lot of good."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Many of the colony leaders and members of the Alliance are becoming more friendly towards the idea of unification." He tried to reassure me.  
  
"By one marriage?" I asked sarcastically.  
  
"Next to father, you are the second most well known figurehead for peace, did you know that? You were an ambassador at age 16 and now a year later you're the vice foreign minister. Heero is another well known figurehead in the colonies who always worked towards unifying the people. A unification with both is telling political leaders that earth and space can coexist together in peace as well." He shook me gently. "What's wrong with you lately? Are you questioning your decisions?"  
  
"Nothing, I-it's just been a long month, that's all. I'm not questioning my decisions, I'm just...a little confused right now. Maybe I'm beginning to forget why I made the decisions in the first place." I turned around and wrapped my arms around his waist.  
  
"For peace, always for peace. If I could, I would take your burdens for you, but I was never meant to carry the Peacecraft's ideals of pacifism." He ruffled my hair.  
  
"Why not? You're a better diplomat than me." I looked up at him and he gave me a faintly sorrowful smile.  
  
"You have qualities I don't possess. Now enough questions, I have meetings with some politicians today. Shoo." He pushed me towards the door. Trowa was waiting outside and we began to walk down the hallway together. No other incidents had happened lately that allowed the need for all four of my bodyguards to be around me. What the other three were doing was beyond me. All I knew was that I scarcely see all four at the same time these days. They kept an erratic schedule of guarding over me and after receiving obscure answers, I gave up. I was that tired of secrets and I was already stressing over the conference with all the major leaders in the Alliance.  
  
"How was your weekly meeting?" Trowa asked quietly.  
  
"Just the usual. I wish I could see him more often. It's funny how I talk about unity abroad but I rarely see my own family together." I commented as we walked to my office. "Do you think the Alliance will really give up weapons like I asked them to?"  
  
"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." He said as I sat down on my chair and swiveled it around to look at the ocean right outside.  
  
"I guess that's a no. And maybe I think the same too. A lot of them nodded heads, but when it really comes to the time to put down weapons, what will they treasure more? Their own fears or their desire for peace?" I stood up and placed my fingers on the glass. I was hesitant of the future, even though I should be the person to be the most hopeful. I was supposed to stand strong and shake my fist at anybody who tried to bar me from my path. But I was being pulled back.  
  
"You've come this far, it would be a waste to give up now." He said as he stood next to me.  
  
"No, I can't disappoint father or myself. I've wanted peace ever since I was born. A true Peacecraft from the start." I accompanied this with a giggle as I remembered a vague memory of debating with my father over ways in keeping peace. "I just hope the Alliance will pull through and take up pacifism. If not, then...I don't know." I turned my head to look at Trowa. "You know, maybe I should go on a vacation soon. I haven't gone on one since I was in middle school. May I can visit a remote Caribbean island for a week."  
  
He nodded his head but we both knew that it wouldn't happen in the near future, nor even in the future itself. I was destined to a life of work and diplomacy, just like my father. A battle cruiser smoothly sailed by, mobile suits standing tall on its deck. They glittered a greeting and I could only sigh and return to my work.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I was standing as straight as I could on the podium, the last remnants of my speech hanging in the air. Dozens of men sat around me in rows of plush leather chairs, every one of them bearing stiff uniforms with medallions of status and position decorated on every proud chest. They all turned to whisper with one another at my suggestion to them all. I had worked over my speech all night and hadn't slept at all, only staring outside my window in consternation till dawn. During all those hours, I wondered if any of them would give up their weapons. A single clap struck the air and I quickly lifted my head to see who had clapped. To my surprise, it was Dante Dermail. He was standing up and kept clapping. Gradually, others joined him. Timidly, they put their hands together but it grew louder as each member stood. Afterwards, when the last member had left to the dining room for hors d'oeuvres, I finally walked out with Duo and Quatre right behind.  
  
"I think it might happen, I think they might accept pacifism." I wrung my hands but a content smile was stretching my lips, my first real smile in weeks. They all had pensive looks on their faces after my speech but I also noticed that many of them look thoughtful in a positive way, as if they really were considering banning weapons. Father's dream just might be a reality! I couldn't help myself and I began to girlishly skip outside the heavy oak doors of the enormous room. "Maybe I'm being too hasty, but at least the idea is in their heads!" I skidded to a stop and immediately put on my public manners when I saw Dante waiting outside.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Dermail, I didn't see you there." Duo gave a muffled cough behind his hand and I discreetly elbowed him in the stomach.  
  
"Too harsh babe." He whispered in my ear before standing to attention before the Duke's son.  
  
"No worries, Miss Relena. I just wanted to privately wish you congratulations on your speech. Many members are conferring with one another on your proposition. May I say that I will be first in line to vote in favor of it?" He held out an arm and I placed my hand on top of his.  
  
"Thank you." I said graciously while he led me towards the entrance of the Alliance building. I hope he wouldn't comment on my skipping, maybe he didn't see anything.  
  
"Have you ever taken ballet, Miss Relena? You display a style of grace when you...walk." He was stifling a laugh under his polite tone, I could tell. My brother always did that whenever I asked him how I looked in a new dress.  
  
"No, I'm afraid I never had the pleasure of taking ballet, as I was too short to be the swan princess." I drawled. Dante gave a laugh at my joke.  
  
"Your short stature is hardly noticeable in comparison to your imposing nature, Miss Relena." He said smoothly. Duo gave me a light nudge and I knew the conversation had to end. I slowly lifted my hand off of his and took a step back to bow deeply, returning the one had given me in the past.  
  
"If you'll excuse me, I have appointments to attend to, Mr. Dermail. I hope we shall have another fortuitous meeting in the future." I pivoted on my heel and walked out the entrance as quickly, yet casually, as possible.  
  
"And I to you." He called out before the glass door swung to shut him out.  
  
"Why do I feel as if there was more to the conversation than what I heard?" I relayed out loud as my limo pulled to the front, right on time.  
  
"Maybe because he was flirting with you." Duo said gruffly. "I think we need to let all your future suitors know that you're still a virgin."  
  
"Duo!! I can't believe you said that!!" I punched his shoulder as hard as I could and he gave a yowl of pain. Quatre gave a fatherly chuckle as he herded us into the car. "And I KNOW that didn't hurt, you being the hardened soldier that you are."  
  
"You pack a mean punch these days Relena." Duo said with a horribly faked sniff from his designated corner. "Maybe I will tell all your potential boyfriends you are a-"He quickly shut his mouth and looked down at my hand. I looked down as well and the glitter of the sapphire cheerily sparkled up at me. "Sorry babe." He mumbled. "I didn't mean to..."  
  
"No, it's alright, I forget sometimes too." I said merrily. I kept my gaze on the ring and turned my hand so that I wouldn't have to see the ring. "A lot." I added quietly to myself.  
  
Quatre reached over and took my hand, squeezing encouragingly. Duo nervously scratched the back of his head and gave his usual half smirk. I forced myself to give a grin at my two best friends.  
  
"Now what was that about me being a virgin?" I said threateningly while lifting my heavy suitcase for a strike. I gave a mad scientist laugh at the flash of fear on Duo's face.  
  
"Hey now, let's not get too rash here-"  
  
~*~  
  
It was quiet when we stepped out of the limo, almost unnaturally so. The second I towards the house's door, I knew something was wrong. Quatre and Duo swiftly pulled me back and took out their guns while edging me slowly towards the limo. Fearfully, I threw glances all around and then noticed something strange...the mobile suits normally standing outside had disappeared. Faintly, I heard a small click in the distance and all hell broke loose as both my bodyguards threw me on the ground and dove on top of me just before a deafening explosion rocked the grounds.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
*A little shorter than my previous chapter, but hey, no complaints, at least I got chapter four out a lot earlier than I expected it to. So please leave me a nice long review to tell me your thoughts!  
  
Spitfire Maguire: thanks! I'm glad you like the concept. I've read a few stories where heero and relena are already married, but not one where relena is reluctant to be married to heero. I hope you stick with this story and keep telling me how its going!  
  
Kero chan: I'm more used to writing in the third person point of view but lately I've been getting into writing all first person, you get a better feel of a person's emotion that way. Its like reading relena's thoughts whenever something's happening. Thought I've noticed that some people don't really like first person point of view  
  
Cat H: hehehe, well, I've noticed the best stories that should deserve praises are the ones that are very discreet and hard to find. But hey, treasure isn't treasure unless its hidden and then found, right? I'm glad you took the time to read this story, this is my very first gundam wing fic and I get worried sometimes that I'm not portraying the characters very well, but your praise on heero and relena's depiction really raised my spirits!  
  
Melodi Moon: an excellent question, and one that I am still trying to properly fit together. I explained part of it in this chapter but hopefully I'll be able to pull out a better explanation as the plot thickens later on. Plus, I wanted relena is be a bit ignorant because I'm trying to make her character idealistic and for anything that will help the peace. Of course she gets wiser later on, but in the beginning, she's just a normal inexperienced human being. I'll make her superwoman later on. ^^  
  
SonicBoom: thanks, I'm glad I answered your question. And as for the I love you, let's just say pulling secret information from heero will be easier than getting him to admit that he loves relena. ^^ but it WILL happen, don't worry  
  
Me: really? I'm trying to make it realistic as I can, except I'm pretty much ignorant of all the detailed information on the Alliance and suchforth, I'm just making things up off the top of my head. And I don't have enough time to properly research these days, though I wish I could  
  
Puppetmonkey5562: yeah, I agree, it always is fun to see someone suffer before the victim gets rescued. ^^ adds a lot to the romance in a story. Thanks for understanding about the getting chapters out! so few readers actually realize the time constraints that many authors have in writing a chapter with a busy schedule. I'm putting a lot of my stories on hold so I can concentrate on this. *shakes fist at select readers* I'm only human!  
  
Aperfectsoldier87: well, I got this chapter earlier than expected, so yay! I intend to make this entirely relena's point of view, but maybe I'll make one short side chapter on heero's thoughts. And Dorothy....shudders....she's not my most fav character either and I have a nice little part for her to play which is going to make some people hate her. ^^  
  
Mint: hehehe, thanks, my writing won't go more steamy than that, I can't write lemons whatsoever. And yes, relena is different from the series, I don't like how they portrayed her in some parts in the anime. I decided to mold the relena I had in mind, someone who's strong, determined, suchforth; good qualities, though she won't be without her fallacies either. I want to make her a bit more teenagerish in this story than in the anime so that she can grow up later on 


	6. Fulfilling Dreams

Whispers of a Distant Star

Chapter 6: Fulfilling Dreams

_I wonder what real peace is..."_ Duo,

* * *

The weight of both my bodyguards knocked my breath out and I gasped painfully, struggling to take in air. My ears had been muted from the intensity of the bomb and I could vaguely hear Duo and Quatre shouting at the limo driver to get us out of here while they shoved me in before getting in themselves. The driver peeled out of the driveway and sped away from the danger. I looked back and could see the smoldering fires eating away at my home, my favorite hand planted flowers completely decimated. As empty as it seemed sometimes, it had still been my refuge for a good decade. I dimly thought that we had all been in grave danger but my mind couldn't process fear into my body. Instead, I covered my face with my hands and felt my face contort with the urge to cry. It was painful holding the tears back and I didn't want to fill up the already silent car with my cries. Acid tears tried to fight its way through but I clenched my eyes tight and concentrated on just breathing. 

It felt like my efforts in creating peace was just being thrown in the trash each time I felt like I was making progress. I don't know if I can bear taking another attack against the ideals that my family has cultivated for so long. I almost died today because there are people out there who are truly determined to take my life as they had probably taken my father's. And it made no difference if my guards and servants fell alongside me either. I've been told that I'm a strong person, but am I strong enough to bear the deaths of my bodyguards? Was creating peace worth all the blood being shed in order to create its path? Duo gently placed a hand on my arm and I looked up to see that we were parked before a small jet. Quatre had already opened the door and had his hand out, waiting for me to take it. I knew the procedure; they would take me to a safe house until they could find the people who did the bombing or until they found a newer, more heavily guarded place for me to live. And from then on, it would be more security measures and even more bodyguards. Just how was I expected to create peace in the world when I couldn't even keep peace in my own life?

They waited silently for me, their eyes looking anywhere but at my face. I closed my eyes and looked deep within myself, trying to gather the strength that so many people were convinced that I had. Stand tall Relena, never cower from what's before you. My father's words echoed to me, but today, their meaning was harder to follow than it would have been a few years back. I opened my eyes and looked up at Quatre with my quivering smile. I placed my hand in his with a determined air and I felt my bodyguards releasing a sigh of relief. Nobody else could fulfill father's dream the way he wanted it. What's one person's pain compared to the pain of many?

* * *

The news blared reports of the start of war and the various political cities engaged in combat with soldiers from space. Dozens of major political figures had their houses bombed just like mine and my sorrow increased with every picture that showed the faces of the deceased. I finally clicked the screen off and threw the remote next to me in disgust. The Alliance, against my wishes, were making preparations to send troops of soldiers to space for retaliation. I had seen dozens of commercials pleading the younger generation to gallantly give their lives towards the war. Even my safe house wasn't far away enough to escape from the sounds of space rockets flying off into the stars. The night sky glittered with hundreds of ships readying for the next clash and my dreams of mobile suits left me tossing and turning every night 

And I…I was still the protected figurehead that did meaningless paperwork everyday. The Alliance feared for my life and had even canceled all requests for press conferences on the war. I felt like a trapped animal, and I hated it. I hated it so much that I just wanted to tear apart anything that was near my hands. But being the coward and weak person that I am, I stayed quiet and didn't complain once. All the hopeful energy had been drained out of my body when I first heard that war had started. My ideals crashed down on me and I shut myself in my room for two days. Heero, of course, offered no comfort, but then again, I never asked for it either.

There was a quiet hustle of activity behind me in the dining room, where an immense dining table had been cleared of its respective dishes and given computers instead. I looked behind to see that all my bodyguards were now present and typing away furiously at the network of computers situated in the room. I stood up and the typing on the computers ceased. Chairs scooted back as my bodyguards walked over to escort me to wherever it was I wanted to go, within the house. I opened my mouth to tell them that I was perfectly capable of going to my own room, but I shut it as I remembered the responsibilities they were under to protect me. At all costs. My clock beeped the beginning of the sunset and I climbed the stairs to my suite that overlooked the garden. I sat on my window seat and pulled my knees up to my chest so I could rest my cheek on them. My bodyguards settled themselves several feet behind me, being careful to give me my space.

"Relena-" I heard Heero quietly utter. I continued to stare off into the distance, wondering what laid beyond the fenced house I currently lived in.

"I know." I said before he could continue. Being so close to the window was a danger to my life. Being out in public was a danger to my life. Being anywhere but in a cage was a danger to my life. I wasn't even allowed to enjoy a few moment's of peace. My muscles stiffened at the thought that I will never be able to create peace while I'm being placed under house arrest. This was not the life that I had imagined myself to have. I obediently moved my legs to stand up, but something inside compelled me to stop the movement. What have I been doing this whole week while millions of people were engaged in the very war that I had sought to prevent? My conscience prickled at the self pity I was forcing myself through. Heero roughly took my arm and pulled me away from the window. I didn't protest his forceful movement and my conscience prickled again. I would have argued… I should have argued, but my entire body was too tired to protest anything.

"Give me some time alone," I said softly. "Please."

I could feel Heero's reluctant movement but my pleading voice must have convinced them because they consented to my request by filing out and closing the door shut behind them. I looked up to see a portrait of my family had been placed on my dresser, no doubt by Pagan. I hadn't seen my brother since the war started and my mother was probably safely tucked away in a safe house similar to my own. A wave of tears struggled to pour out and suddenly, I was disgusted with myself. Moping away about my situation and giving up on peace, what was wrong with me? I knew that when I took on the job of pursuing my father's ideals that nothing would be easy. To the Alliance, I was just the ignorant seventeen year old kid of a famous man. To the world, I was just a figure of peace; a reminder that there is such thing as peace and that someone was 'considering' it.

To the leaders of the world, peace was an ideal said, not fulfilled. I knew everything and anything could happen but why was I giving up now? I had spent this whole week in a stoic silence that Heero was probably proud of. I looked at my father's smiling face. Wrinkles had piled around his eyes and mouth from years of work, but the smile was content and most of all, it was determined. Maybe, just maybe, the reason I had been so depressed this entire week was not that I had failed, but that I had failed my father. A knock broke my thoughts.

"Come in." I said while trying to ease the tense face I had been wearing all week. My muscles ached as I relaxed and I realized why I had been so tired this whole week.

Heero walked in and closed the door behind him. Of all the people that could possibly disturb my thoughts, Heero was the one I least wanted to see. I looked away from him, he was probably going to reprimand me about the dangers of staying in a room by myself Yet, he didn't say a word and only sat next to me, close enough so that I could feel a line of heat beside me. Minutes passed until I worked up the courage to ask him the question that had been bothering me ever since he walked in.

"Have you ever wondered whether the reasons why you became who you are were what you wanted?"

"If I allowed those reasons to change me, then it would mean that I had wanted them too." He responded, clearly and logically. In the past, his logical way of looking at things would irk me, but today, I felt the reality of his words.

"Relena-" He said quietly. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, almost afraid to meet him face to face. Something in his voice was different from the way he normally treated me. Instead of saying my name like it was a duty, he said it gently and with a touch of kindness. "You may not be aware of it, but to the millions of people out there who want peace, you're the only person who can fulfill their dreams."

It was that word again, dreams. Since father's death, I had been determined to be the one to fulfill his dream of peace between earth and space. I sacrificed my life and worked hours to try to make his dream come true, but… maybe the reason why I failed was because it was his dream I was fighting for, not mine. I walked his steps, I did his work, and I dreamed his dream; but I was living in a world much different from my own. I thought that by taking up his duties and walking his path, I could create the peace everybody wanted so much. But maybe, maybe I should carve out my own path to take for peace. I should start fighting for my dream of peace...

"Heero, if you could change yourself to bring peace, would you do it?"

"I think you should be asking yourself the answer to those questions." He said as he stood up. He looked down at me for a second and then presented his hand to me. I looked at his hand in a daze. His gesture could mean a hundred different things, but I took a gamble and placed my hand in his with hesitation. He pulled me up and led me out of the room. He released my hand as soon as we were out and once again I gripped my hand tight, hoping to capture some of that warmth once more.

Once we were downstairs I called all my bodyguards to the living room and asked them to sit. They all looked at me quizzically but sat down to listen.

"My question to you all will hold no consequences, repercussions, such forth. And I will not hold any negative feelings against the answer you give me."

"Babe, just get on with it," Duo said lazily.

"I need to know how loyal you guys are to me." I said.

Duo nearly fell from his seat, Quatre dropped his mouth, Trowa raised an eyebrow, and Heero didn't even blink. I expected just as much so I sat back and calmly waited for their answers. If I truly wanted to start carrying out my dream and not my father's I needed my bodyguard's help, and above all, their trust.

"Relena," Duo said in a rare bout of seriousness. "What's going on that you're asking about our loyalty?"

"I need you to answer my question first." I said. "And when I mean me, I mean just me, not the Alliance's objectives."

"I've been working for your family for years-" Duo started.

"No," I interrupted. "I said just me, and that excludes my family. How loyal are you to me alone?"

Duo furrowed his eyebrows and sat back in his seat in deep thought, a pose that I rarely ever saw him in. I almost felt like fidgeting in the serious aura of the room, but I acted like the professional I was trained to be and watched the expression on their faces.

"You have my unconditional loyalty. We don't all work for the Alliance, you know." Quatre said with a smile. "I offered you my protection on my own."

"I am with Quatre on this issue. You have my loyalty as well." Trowa said with a smile of his own.

Heero nodded his head and gave his characteristic hn, which left just Duo. I looked at my longest serving bodyguard and best friend. He finally gave a chuckle and shook his head.

"I can't believe your old man was right." He said as his chuckles died down. He got down on his knees in front of me and took my hand into his own. "My most lovely princess, I am your loyal knight for as long as I live."

I gave a sigh of relief and gave my first genuine smile in a long time.

"Now, are you going to tell us what brought on such a grave question?" Duo said with a no nonsense glint in his eyes.

"I'm leaving this house and going to space." I said firmly.

"Relena, are you nuts! Space is where the war is at its craziest!" Duo exclaimed as he threw his hands up in exasperation. "How are we supposed to keep you alive when we're in the middle of everything!"

"Duo has a point, Ms. Relena." Quatre said cautiously.

"I am achieving nothing while being here where I'm safe!" I hissed at them.

"You're a figure of peace-" Duo began to say.

"And that's just it! I don't WANT to be a figure that stands for something! I want to be someone who actually did something for the world!" I shouted back, my voice filling the entire room. I was in my element now, a room full of people who were skeptical of me. "Our dreams for peace were shattered…but that doesn't mean I can't pick up the pieces and start again. Father had once told me that his job in advocating peace started with creating peace within himself first. I am going to regret it for the rest of my life if all I did for the world was paperwork behind fenced walls!"

The room was dead silent as I took a breath.

"Believe in me. That's all I need and I'll bring peace between earth and the colonies. Only this time I'm not going to live my father's dream, I'm going to live my own."

Heero gave a sigh and went back to the computers in the dining room. A second later something was printing and he handed me the paper.

"There's a cargo ship carrying supplies to Colony E4165. You and Trowa will be boarding that ship in secret. Once you get there, you're on your own in finding a place to hide. I recommend that you keep a low profile and don't attract any attention to yourself." He directed me.

"What about the rest of you?" I asked as I looked over the map.

"We will join you as soon as we finish our own preparations for going into space and when your fifth bodyguard arrives." He said.

Ugh, another bodyguard? I had never known how valuable my body was until my number of bodyguards had increased. I didn't argue with Heero because, strangely enough, I trusted him to make the right decisions. Granted, his decisions often left me out of the loop, but it had saved my life as well. I nodded my head in agreement and my heart felt clearer and lighter. My plans for persuading the leaders of the colonies are shaky, but I have to do what I can because I'd rather suffer than regret.

* * *

Author's Notes: Yes! I am ALIVE! Sorry for the late update, blah blah, my usual excuses, blah blah blah. Oh, and I decided that I am going to use real GW quotes from the characters themselves for each chapter. Granted, its going to take me a bit of time to find cool and deep quotes, so if u guys have any, stick it in the nice long review you guys are going to leave me!

Kik-ting- yup, hero is pretty emotionless most of the time, except when it come to relena. kya, its so cute how he acts when it concerns relena's safety. I think I'm making him a bit too cold in my story, but he'll warm up later.

Death'sFlowerGarden- thanks! I like this story, I just wish I had more time to write for it. And, uh, yeah, hero is pretty darned confusing in the anime, what a complex guy. He's so serious all the time. I hope you keep up with the story and I'll try to do something about heero's character, though his personality was a mess to begin with

Feline- lol, yes, I am ashamed to say that I have not put up enough hero-relena "mess" . and relena is a bit of a baby at first, but heck, she is 17 and already in a high political position. I'm also planning on having her grow up and become a stronger woman as the story progresses, so don't worry, she'll be cooler later on. I'm a girl power kind of person when it comes to my characters. Thanks for reviewing!

Mint- Dante plays an important role later on, and the plot is going to get pretty twisted a few chapters from now. Ah, I love the smell of a complicated plot. And yes, I did purposely give relena faults as a way to show that she grows up from all her tribulations. She will be a better and stronger person in the end though, that's a promise (does a Rock Lee style thumbs up)

APerfectSoldier87- yes yes, I must start putting in affection., but since heero is such an emotionless guy, I figure it might make sense for things to go slow. He isn't exactly a wham bam! kind of guy,.oo, ouch, I repeated a word? Ugh, sometimes I just wanna get my chapter up quick so u guys can read it that I don't go over it carefully enough. I hope u enjoyed this update!

Raigne- there is a reason why he is being cold (especially to relena), but that won't be explained until later. I'm glad you're liking the story so far. I hope I don't stretch this story too long. Two of my old ones already went past 20. I'm going to try to keep this at 15, but who knows

Melodi Moon- yay! Look! I updated! And there isn't exactly a sweet moment, but warmer than usual. I hope my story looks like its finally going somewhere.


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